Ingredients for a wedding

4-lb of love

1-lb of youth

0.5-lb of good looks

1-lb of sweet temper

1-lb of blindness to faults

1-lb of self-forgetfulness

1-lb of powdered wit

1-lb of good humor

2 -tbsp of sweet argument

1- pint of rippling laughter

1- wine glass of common sense

1- oz of modesty

Put the love, good looks and sweet temper into a well-furnished house. Beat the butter of youth to a cream and mix well to blindness of faults.

Stir the pounded wit and good humor in to the sweet argument; then add the rippling laughter and common sense. Work the whole together until everything is mixed and bake gently forever.

(Found in a church book of recipes about 1900AD)

www.ajokeaday.com
 

Cele 15 reguli ale casatoriei

Care sunt cele mai importante reguli ale casatoriei?:

1. Ai incredere in partenerul tau;

2. Tine minte: compromisul reprezinta cheia pentru o relatie fericita;

3. Nu va culcati niciodata unul suparat pe celalalt: cineva trebuie sa faca primul pas;

4. Asigura-te ca ii demonstrezi partenerului tau cat de mult inseamna pentru tine;

5. Daca vrei sa critici, fa-o! Insa mare atentie la ce cuvinte folosesti;

6. Nu iti aminti de trecut;

7. Daca ai gresit, recunoaste si cere iertare;

8. Ofera-i partenerului tau libertatea de care are nevoie;

9. Stati si despartiti: uneori distanta poate reaprinde flacara iubirii;

10. Nu dormiti niciodata in paturi separate;

11. Nu-ti fie teama de rutina: uneori poate fi chiar romantica;

12. Asigura-te ca inca mai ai dreptul la intimitate;

13. Iubeste cu toata inima;

14. Fii sincera cu partenerul;

15. Nu iti fie teama sa spui ce ai pe inima.
Foto: Shutterstock.com
 
http://mirese.kudika.ro/articol/mirese~traditii/23122/15-reguli-pentru-o-casatorie-fericit.html

STOP PLAGIATUL!

Bedroom Mistakes

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Quiz: Sex Problems and Solutions -- Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

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Five big bedroom mistakes

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23 Aug 2011... are some things that you can do that can totally throw your bedroom pleasure off course. Here are five things that are big bedroom mistakes.

Sex Problems and Solutions Quiz: Bedroom Mistakes Men Make

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Top 10 Mistakes Men Make In The Bedroom - Seduction Science ...

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Being a Bedroom Bull doesn’t mean being a jerk-wad. Here’s 10 big mistakes guy make in the bedroom. #1. Cuddle After Sex. If you’re not spending at least ...

3 Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom | Love & Sex | GalTime

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Who doesn't need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he'll initiate sex, so it's all good, right? Not so fast!

10 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make in the Bedroom | Essence.com

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What You Said: His Biggest Bedroom Mistakes Revealed | Essence ...

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Top 10 Bedroom Design Mistakes to Avoid - Yahoo! Voices - voices ...

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Don't make these common bedroom planning mistakes. ... Top 10 Bedroom Design Mistakes to Avoid Don't Make These Common Bedroom Planning Mistakes

9 Mistakes To Avoid In Bed - AskMen

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When you're about to have sex with a woman, the last thing you want to do is turn her off. A lot of men are unaware of what they're doing wrong in bed, which is ...

Dr. Supertall™: Bedroom Mistakes Women Make

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Who doesn't need to spice up their bedroom routine every once in a while? You love your partner and assume he'll initiate sex, so it's all good, right?

Quiz: Bedroom Mistakes Men Make

...

Turning off the lights could turn her on.

     Correct Answer: True

Ah, the old lights on/lights off debate. Many guys want the lights on during sex -- to be able to see what they're doing, so to speak. But insisting could be a mistake.

There's some evidence that women may benefit from having the lights off -- it may help them shut off distractions, reduce stress, and focus more fully on the experience. That could be worth the trade-off.

    Previous



Most women say that they've faked an orgasm.

  True

One survey showed that 70% of women said that they had faked one. That’s a lot. What's the most common reason? They worry that they'll hurt a guy's feelings if they don't play along.



Many men -- often well-meaning ones -- put way too much pressure on their partners to orgasm. That's a turn-off.



Try to relax. If your partner feels more comfortable with you, she won't need to fake it. The less she fakes it, the better you'll understand what really turns her on.



Which can help get your partner in the mood?

   
Most guys have got it through their heads that foreplay is important, but they don't understand that it's more than "that stuff you do 5 minutes before intercourse."

Think of foreplay as something that goes on for hours -- maybe even days -- before you actually have sex. It can include all sorts of intimacies that will help your partner relax and feel connected to you. That doesn't just mean sexy massages -- taking over her dreary chores could actually be an aphrodisiac. And for some people a little bit of jealousy -- a LITTLE bit -- can be a turn-on.



Women don't like porn.


    Correct Answer: False

OK, yes, some women really don't like porn. But guys often make the mistake of making generalizations about What Women Like. One Australian survey found that about one in three women access porn on the Internet -- that's quite a few.



Of course, when it comes to your bedroom, all that matters is what your partner likes. If you want to try exploring erotica together, just ask her. See what happens.



How many women rarely or never orgasm from intercourse alone?

        Correct Answer: 30% or more

It's pretty simple: For most women to orgasm, they need stimulation of the clitoris. And for a sizeable number of women, intercourse just doesn't do that job very well. Part of it is anatomy. Studies show that the closer a woman's clitoris is to her vagina, the easier it is to orgasm during sex.

If your partner doesn't orgasm during sex, it's not necessarily something you're doing wrong. She just needs other stimulation as well.



Having a TV in your bedroom can cut your sex life in half.

 True
  
Like watching TV in bed? Then get used to having less sex. One Italian study found that couples with a TV in the bedroom had half as much sex as couples who didn't. Set up your bedroom for sleep and sex. Leave all other distractions outside the door.

    Previous



...


If your partner uses a vibrator to masturbate, it's a sign something is wrong.

 False

Guys can get sensitive about their partners using vibrators and other sex toys on their own. Shouldn't I be enough? they worry.



Don't be silly. Your partner using sex toys -- and being in touch with her sexuality -- is good for your sex life, not bad. Instead of feeling challenged, ask if you can incorporate toys into sex together. Nowadays, there are loads of toys designed for and marketed to couples. Trying some could be fun.



Just hugging can improve your sex life.

 True

Oxytocin is called the cuddle hormone. Studies show that hugging a woman for just 20 seconds triggers an oxytocin release -- making her feel good and strengthening her bond with you.



Why mention this? Because some guys still imagine that sexual intimacy is somehow distinct from other physical intimacy. It isn't -- even on a biological level. You can't go from sitting on opposite ends of the couch every evening and then expect passionate sex to erupt. Get in the habit of hugging, kissing, and cuddling daily -- your sex life is bound to improve.

    Previous



On average, most couples climax at the same time twice a month.

  False

Actually, for most couples, climaxing together is pretty rare. But that doesn't stop a lot of guys from trying and -- in all likelihood -- failing. The expert advice is not to worry so much about coordinating your orgasms with clockwork precision. Instead, taking turns -- you focus on her first and then vice versa -- is likely to be more satisfying for both of you.


Keeping things spontaneous will lead to a more fulfilling sex life.

        Correct Answer: False

Unexpected, spontaneous sex can be fantastic, no question. But it's not something to center your sex life around -- it's like standing in your yard waiting for a rainstorm when you want a glass of water. Don't wait for sex to happen. Take the initiative. Plan a weekly sex date with your partner. Far from being unsexy, you may find that planning a time for sex will help build desire and anticipation for both of you.



Your Score: 67% You correctly answered 8 out of 12 questions.

Not bad -- but you could polish your bedroom technique.

How To Bring Up Threesomes And Swinging With Your Partner

by Cooper Beckett, editor at Life on the Swingset

 

It’s the question asked ‘round the world, by men and women everywhere, how can I talk to my partner about…(fill in the blank with some sort of open marriage revolving thing.) It’s no wonder, with the near universal yearning for variety, and that often bubbling below the surface desire to see your partner with another man/woman, that this question is so popular.
Those of us who are actually swingers, and have experienced the fun and excitement of threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes are treated as though we may have found the Holy Grail, and are inundated with variants on the above. What follows will be an attempt to give you a “get the ball rolling” sort of path to jump on. A lot here depends on you, and your partner, and you should be ever so cautious here at the beginning, ‘cuz it can easily feel as though you’ve wandered off the map, and thar be monstars in the unknown. Haven’t scared you off, have I?
No? Good. ‘Cuz you want to know a secret? Threesomes and swinging are really awesome.

Communicating With Your Partner About A Threesome

I feel they’re just about the most fun you can have without breaking anything but obscure old blue laws. Before we get to the “getting your partner to do” anything, we need to talk about fundamentally the most important part of this process. Communication. Period. If fantasy isn’t something you’re able to talk to your partner about, you probably need to hold off on the graduate level sexuality and focus on some remedial stuff first. Because the place you want to start with the threesome/swinger talk is with fantasy. Why? Well, if you’ve got a good solid relationship that can share fantasies and new ideas, you’ll probably be able to have the all important “sharing is caring” conversation. You also ought to be somewhat experimental in order to pull this one off. And not just you, the BOTH of you. If it’s missionary with the lights off every night, this might not be the time. (Not that there’s anything wrong with missionary with the lights off, in fact, missionary is one of my favorite positions. I love being able to look my lovers in the eyes.) So, if you feel you have good communication, and you may be more advanced than vanilla folk (you know, maybe vanilla bean, or vanilla with sprinkles) then it’s time to start playing with the fantasy.

Getting The Ball Rolling

Start non-specific, when my wife and I began the discussion, it was as simple as hot sexy talk, during the act, which of our friends would you bave sex with, who do you find hot, what’s your type, etc. These things are rarely discussed in a marriage, or a long term relationship, especially the “what’s your type” conversation, because married people like to assume they’re their partner’s type. (Not always the case, exceptions are often made for the spousal type.) Work this into your sex play, your discussions. Notice reactions when you do so. If your wife blanches at the idea of having another imaginary woman in bed, it’s doubtful she’d be up for having a flesh and blood real live girl lying next to her as well. It’s also important not to take fantasy acceptance as a green light. Really, it’s best to look at these stages as red and yellow lights. When you encounter a red light, you need to step back a bit, and run at it again. If you continually encounter red lights, and swinging or threesomes is extremely important to you, well, you have to decide if it’s a deal breaker or not. Now, if you’re getting yellow lights the whole way down, you’re likely to be sitting pretty before long.
Once the fantasy is out there, it’s likely to come up again. After a particularly hot lovemaking session where you’ve brought your best friend imaginarily into the bedroom to play the old fingercuffs game with your wife, there’s a good chance she’ll come up to you later, (sometimes as soon as in the shower immediately afterwards) and ask “wow, that was hot, where the hell did that come from?” A lot can be judged in the tone of this question. And tone can be the difference between yellow light and red light. If your partner doesn’t ask about it, or bring it up at all, or try to insert it into your NEXT lovemaking session, you shouldn’t read that as stop, just that they may be shy, or conflicted about their feelings on it. In any case, this is where that communication thing comes into play.

Why Communication Is So Important

Remember how EVERYBODY EVER has said that communication is the secret to a good relationship. Well, it’s also the secret to getting anywhere with the swinging conversation. If you can’t ask for something, you can’t do it. If your spouse doesn’t bring up that unique new fantasy or roleplay you guys did, well the onus is on you to do so. So suck it up and talk about it. It’s in this conversation where you need to have “the talk.”
Not the “when a man and a woman love each other very much” talk. The “it would be possible for me to be sexually attracted to another person” talk. And this is often the hardest conversation for people to have these days. Our entire society seems to scream that your relationship is bad if you have any attraction or wanderlust toward anyone other than your spouse for your entire life. (Well, except for all the cheaters, and divorcees, and…well, everybody who just won’t admit it.) So, take your deep breath and jump into the cold water. If you’re gonna be asking the question “do you ever think about being with another person?” know that your partner may think it’s a trap, so be ready with your “cuz I do sometimes, but I think it’d be super hot to do it with you.” (Don’t feel the need to use phrases like that which sound like they come straight from the pages of Dynamite Magazine for teens.)
This is the money point here. Especially with a threesome, it’s REALLY easy for it to appear that you’re just a guy who wants to have sex with two girls. Sorry for the crudity there, but it’s the truth. It’s why I never asked for a threesome. Because I failed to see what might be in it for her. This was before I knew that my wife harbored secret bisexual fantasies (see, lack of communication!) so I wasn’t able to suggest how hot it’d be for me to see her with another girl without risking triggering her defense mechanisms.

What To Talk About And When To Talk About It

In a healthy sexual relationship, we all have the desire to fulfill our partners fantasies, or to at least take them as close to the edge as we’re willing to go. So when your partner comes to you and says “darling, I’d love to see you fuck another person, it’d make me sooo hot!” well you at least consider whether or not you might be able to make that fantasy come true. The key point here is that threesomes and swinging shouldn’t be a “let’s try something new this weekend for my birthday, for our anniversary, for Arbor Day” conversation. It should be an ongoing discussion, with at least a few days between start and finish, but preferably, a couple weeks to allow the idea to really sink in. Especially with all the tertiary issues that can crop up, chief among them being jealousy, but also STI and pregnancy risk, the lunacy that can come from adding another person to a relationship, and so many more things that can broadside you because you hadn’t even considered them.
Now, if you’ve had these conversations and fantasies, and talked about what you’re interested in, well then, that sounds like a green light and permission to launch. Next stop, open relationship town. But that’s a whole other discussion, and that’s for next time.
 

Top 5 Worst People To Get Relationship Advice From

Relationship advice can be great, unless it comes from the wrong person! Here’s who you DON’T want to get relationship advice from.
The world is riddled with people who are always trying to offer up relationships advice. Everybody from your friends, family and even your computer can tell you different ways to approach problems in your relationship.
If you are going through a rough patch and you’re looking for a good way to get things back on track, you are naturally going to overturn every stone in search of an answer. However, there are people that you should avoid when asking about relationship advice. Here are the top 5 people you should avoid when asking for relationship advice.

1. Your Boss

No matter how close you are, you should never ask your boss for any relationship advice. Over the course of time, you and your boss have probably had some long nights in the office together. You probably feel like you can trust them with details of your personal life.
But when you’re going through something with your girlfriend or wife, the last thing that you want to do is take advice from somebody that signs your pay check. Not only are they unqualified, they don’t really know your girlfriend or wife well enough to give you usable advice. Steer clear of your boss when you need relationship advice to keep your professional career on track.

2. Your Mom

Sure, she’s been through it all, but do you really want to ask your mom for relationship advice? Chances are that your mom is going to take your side on every issue and refuse to give you a balanced opinion on the subjects that you’re having issues with. Your mother should be the one that tells you everything is going to be all right, not how to patch things up after fighting with your girlfriend. Avoid your mother no matter how much she tries to pry things out of you.

3. Internet Forums

Internet forums are the worst places to get advice on relationships. No, I’m not talking about a Dear Abby article; I’m talking about places like Yahoo Answers and Wiki Answers. These places are filled with people that will not take your questions seriously. They might even offer bad advice because they think that it’s funny. They also don’t know your wife or girlfriend so they can make snap judgments without knowing all of the facts. Resist posting your questions on Internet forums or Craigslist for any kind of solid relationship advice.

4. TV/Movies

Everybody wants to believe that they have a relationship comparable to that on TV or in a movie. But one of the worst things that you can do is take relationship advice from a TV show or a movie. The reason that the advice they give works out in the end is because of a little thing called a script. The two were supposed to be together in the end for a happy ending. Life doesn’t always work out that way. Don’t take your relationship advice from a procedural or you may find yourself alone in the end.

5. Your Womanizing Friend

Every guy out there has a womanizing friend. He probably picks up girls at every bard or nightclub in the city. He has a silver tongue and he always knows what to say to get a girl’s attention. The problem with the womanizing friend is that he knows little about relationships and more about seduction.
Furthermore, he’s not going to be able to give you solid advice on your relationship because he exists in a different world than you do. He dates a lot of women and doesn’t have a stable relationship. If he were in your shoes, he would break up with her and be done with it. Don’t ever get relationship advice from a player because they will always tell you to break up.
Getting good relationship advice is essential to living a happy and healthy life. If you really do love your girlfriend or wife then you are going to want to make them happy also. If you are in a pinch, consider seeing a marital or relationship counselor. There are hundreds of relationship counselors  in every city that have extensive knowledge of the most common problems that every couple goes through.
If the issues aren’t big enough to enlist the help of a counselor in your area, consult your local bookstore’s relationship section. This should offer you a wide variety of books on how to improve communication, your sex life and understanding her needs. Remember that problems in the relationship are rarely one sided, so get some perspective and try to understand the problem from both ends.

Telepatia in cuplu

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9 Dec 2010 ... Acestea pot face terapie la distanta asemanator cu telepatia. ... Relaţia de Cuplu şi Caracterul Oamenilorby 2012xDecx2117888 views · Armele ...

telepatia sufletelor in armonia cuplului

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telepatia in comunicare

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Atractia sexuala si iubirea – diferente si asemanari

inevitabil, organismul isi termina resursele si, dupa o perioada de cateva saptamani, pana la MAXIM un an, revine la starea normala.

Si atunci se poate face evaluarea, iar aceasta este proba de care trebuie sa treaca orice relatie pentru a putea vorbi despre o relatie pe termen lung intre un barbat si o femeie.

...

exista un ciclu de indragostire care dureaza 4 ani si ca desi oamenii se chinuie sa intretina relatii monogame de lunga durata, cercetarile arata ca cele mai multe divorturi se inregistreaza in al- 4 –lea an de casnicie.

Pe langa asta, Helen Fisher spune ca avem creierul setat pe 3 directii cand vine vorba de iubire. Un anumit set de emotii care duce la atasament, alt set care duce la romantism si alt set care duce la sex. Fiecare din aceste 3 grupuri are emotiile specifice si in iubire actioneaza de cele mai multe ori amestecate.

Toate bune si frumoase pana aici.

Insa acum abia incepe partea interesanta.

Concluziile acestor cercetari foarte interesante si bine documentate se termina cu ideea ca totusi, componentele chimice si emotionale ale iubirii care dureaza mult timp, pe viata chiar, raman inca un mister.

Emotiile atractiei sexuale sunt intr-adevar substante chimice care pleaca din creier. In momentul in care o persoana simte o puternica atractie sexuala, la nivel fiziologic se petrec anumite schimbari majore.

Creste nivelul anumitor substante chimice care sunt defapt emotii, si rezultatele sunt:

-ritm crescut al batailor inimii,

-lipsa poftei de mancare,

-creste sensibilitatea la toate cele 5 simturi(vaz, auz, miros, gust si simtul tactil),

-stari dese de euforie (fericire).

Apoi, inevitabil, organismul isi termina resursele si, dupa o perioada de cateva saptamani, pana la MAXIM un an, revine la starea normala.

Si atunci se poate face evaluarea, iar aceasta este proba de care trebuie sa treaca orice relatie pentru a putea vorbi despre o relatie pe termen lung intre un barbat si o femeie.

In acest termen, majoritatea oamenilor cad in capcana. Din cauza acestor emotii transformatoare, oamenii cred ca si-au descoperit jumatatea, iau decizii bazate pe aceste emotii trecatoare, se casatoresc , fac copii iar emotiile se dilueaza si dispar.

Inca din 1820, filozoful Arthur Schopenhauer si-a dat seama ce este defapt atractia sexuala cu biologia, comportamentele si problemele care rezulta de aici:

“Dragostea(a se citii „atractia sexuala”) este vicleşugul întrebuinţat de natură pentru a-şi atinge scopul, care nu este, în realitate, decât crearea unei fiinţe noi.

Îndată ce voinţa speciei este satisfăcută, ea dispare şi, plăcerea individului risipindu-se, îl readuce la cruda realitate. De aceea, însuşi Eros este înfăţişat legat la ochi.” Arthur Schopenhauer

Majoritatea casniciilor sfarsesc prin divort in al 4 lea an, spun cercetarile. Asta pentru ca, in opinia mea, dupa cele cateva luni , maxim 18, desi emotiile dispar, cuplul se straduieste sa faca relatia sa mearga. Daca apare si un copil, eforturile sunt de inteles.

Dar pentru ca oamenii isi bazeaza intreg viitorul doar pe niste trairi care dispar rapid in timp, din cauza ignorantei de multe ori, relatii sfarsesc prost iar oamenii se intreaba ce nu e in regula, cu ei, cu lumea, cu viata si cu iubirea.

Acum lucrurile se schimba, iar educatia pe aceasta tema trebuie sa devina o prioritate , pentru ca asa cum spune un prieten al meu, Bogdan, nimeni nu s-a nascut invatat, insa ai tot mai putine scuze sa mori prost.

Asadar, sa stii despre atractia sexuala, este un bun inceput, necesar, insa deloc suficient.

Urmatorul pas este sa inveti cum sa creezi TU aceasta super emotie in persoanele de sex opus si sa le faci sa fie atrase de tine.

Cateva observatii de bun simt, ne spun ca preferam mai degraba :

-o persoana care are incredere in fortele ei , decat una care e tot timpul in depresie si necajita

-o persoana care emana emotii pozitive si distractie in jur, nu emotii negative

-o persoana care face sport mai degraba decat una care se neglijeaza

-o persoana care este apreciata si respectata de cei din jur mai degraba decat gasca grupului.

For a very happy couple - Refresh your memory

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/happy-couples-what-it-takes-to-be-one Happy Couples: What It Takes to Be One Love alone won’t see you through, say the experts By Elizabeth Heubeck WebMD FeatureReviewed by Cynthia Dennison Haines, MDThe sight of a couple sharing a joke and walking hand in hand, their faces lined with wrinkles, and their hair gray, begs the question: How did they remain a happy couple for so many years? Given that about half of all first marriages for men and women under 45 end in divorce, it's a legitimate question. So at WebMD, we asked the experts to reveal the secrets of happy couples. Their revelations may surprise you. "It's not about how much you love each other, or how much money you have, or even if your personalities mesh," says Howard Markman, PhD, leading marriage researcher, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, and author of Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love. Recommended Related to Sex & RelationshipsSharing Your Sex Fantasies With your Partner: Sizzler or Fizzler? You've been sharing a bed with the same partner for years. By now you know each other's sleeping habits inside and out, right down to the exact room temperature and sleeping position preferred. But how well do you know what it takes to turn on your partner? There's one way to find out -- by sharing your most intimate sex fantasies. An open exchange of erotic fantasies can help rekindle the flames -- or can they? Here's what sex experts say on the subject. Read the Sharing Your Sex Fantasies With your Partner: Sizzler or Fizzler? article > > Far more significant than these factors -- yes, even more important than heart-pounding lust, which, let's face it, often fades over time -- is communication, says Markman. How well you and your spouse communicate with another? The second most significant factor that happy couples share, he says, is a strong friendship. While you can't necessarily teach a couple how to be friends, you can teach good friends how to communicate better. Markman regularly tackles this task, using a research-based method derived from data that he and his colleagues at the University of Denver have collected over decades of systematically observing unhappy and happy couples. Happy Couples: Developing Healthy Habits Markman offers three important ingredients of happy couples: Avoid blowouts. "The first is to learn to talk without fighting about inevitable conflicts," Markman says. Making a concerted effort to see the other person's perspective, and avoiding the blame game of "she said" or "he did," goes a long way. When things appear to be hedging toward a blowout, Markman urges couples to do what parents often tell young children: Take a "time out." It's a tactic he calls "exiting out of destructive fighting." Recall the positive. As parents often ask a child stewing in the time-out corner what she could have done differently, Markman suggests that couples in conflict take time to consider what brought them together in the first place. Then, he says, make room for those factors in your life again. "You've got to protect and preserve those positive connections -- the friendship, the fun," Markman tells WebMD. These are aspects of marriage that happy couples keep intact. Look to the future. While turning the clock back can help couples rekindle lost connections, Markman urges couples to simultaneously look forward. "You've got to have a long-term vision of the future, shared dreams, and plans that represent a commitment to one another and your family," he says. Happy Couples: Addressing a Sexless Marriage That future, according to most marriage experts, should include a healthy sex life. While sex isn't everything to happy couples, sexual problems can lead to marital discord. That men and women tend to have different ideas about sex doesn't help matters. "Generally speaking, women tend to see sexuality as part of a larger construct. Men are exactly the opposite," says James E. Sheridan, a judge and founder of Marriages That Work, a nonprofit organization in Michigan that teaches instructional courses on how to strengthen marriages. "Women have to be in the mood. Men have to be in the room." Many times, misunderstandings over these differences lead to a break down in a healthy sexual relationship within a marriage, even among happy couples. The result, say experts, is a sexless marriage. Patti Britton, president of the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, calls sexless marriages an "epidemic." She reports that many of the married clients she sees haven't had sex in 10 years. Adopt a business approach to improve sex. Seeing things from a business-like perspective helps couples reframe their sexual relationship. "I tell them, 'If this were a business, would you let it flounder like this?'" Britton says. Presenting sex in this light makes problems, and solutions, more concrete for couples. "By likening it [marriage] to a business mode -- with shared goals and missions; responsibilities, assets, and liabilities; and frequent business meetings -- things shift," Britton tells WebMD. Make honest assertions. To salvage their sex lives, some couples need to dig deeper. "Often, sex wasn't good in the first place. A big complaint for women is that foreplay is bad or nonexistent," Britton says. But this isn't easy for anyone to admit. "I do a lot of pushing for the truth," Britton tells WebMD. Some couples simply aren't prepared to tell, or hear, the truth. "A lot of couples fall out of it. It pushes too many buttons," she says. Happy Couples: Learning Financial Savvy The topic of family finances is another hot-button topic, even for happy couples. Delegate the task of budget balancer. Experts observe that most happy couples recognize that handling household finances should remain a singular task. "Only one person can work the checkbook. There can't be two CFOs," Sheridan tells WebMD. That doesn't mean, however, that the other partner should be kept in the dark about finances. Sheridan espouses making joint financial decisions, with just one person implementing. Start an emergency fund. He also strongly urges couples to plan for financial emergencies. This helps diffuse any potential blowups, such as who will sacrifice personal spending money when urgent house repairs must be funded. Every couple faces adversity, from slumps in their sex lives to bickering over the checkbook balance. But Markman believes that most married people can learn to become happy couples. "If both partners are motivated, they can turn things around," Markman tells WebMD. Published February 2007. Further Reading: Best Age to Marry Climbing I Married a Total Stranger ‘Idealizing’ Your Spouse Makes an Ideal Marriage Domestic Abuse-Home Treatment Domestic Abuse-Other Places To Get Help Domestic Abuse-Preparing For Your Appointment Domestic Abuse-Prevention See All Empty Nest Topics Top Picks Birth Control: Find What's Right for You Online Dating: More Success Than the Real Thing? Antidepressants: Sexual Side Effects and More Getting Intimate: Talking Together About ED Is Your Mouth Kissably Healthy? Find Out How Diabetes Affects A Woman's Sexual Health === http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=A0oG7mpx1VBPrAMAXhlXNyoA?p=For+a+happy+couple&fr2=sb-bot&fr=ie8 7 Secrets of Happy Couples Quotes - Daily Inspiration - Daily ... 7 Secrets of Happy Couples Quotes from Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote www.quotes-daily.com/2009/02/7-secrets-​of-happy-couples.html - Cached Be a Happy Couple - 5 Things Super Happy Couples Do - Redbook Daily rituals that build a stronger marriage. ... Lord knows this is not the sort of thing guys brag about. But my wife and I have a ridiculously happy marriage. www.redbookmag.com/.../super-happy-​couples-ll - Cached Happy Couples: What It Takes to Be One - WebMD - Better ... Experts reveal the secrets of happy couples. And their revelations may surprise you. www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/​features/happy-couples... - Cached More results from webmd.com » Happy Couples - EzineArticles Submission - Submit Your Best ... Most couples are looking for a happy relationship. Happiness is a state of mind that makes a person content. Happy couples have the key that enhances a solid ... ezinearticles.com/?Happy-​Couples&id=304437 - Cached Five Reasons Couples Stay Happy | eHow.com Most people want to find someone they can love and be happy with forever. However, couples split up and get divorced every day. This reality does not take away people ... www.ehow.com/info_8350067_five-reasons-​couples-stay... - Cached More results from ehow.com » Tips for How to be a Happy Couple - EzineArticles Submission ... To be a happy couple isn't easy, but the learning about it is quite simple. First, you have to know about what love is. And the second, you must practice it consistently. ezinearticles.com/?Tips-for-How-to-be-a-​Happy-Couple&id=... - Cached Happy Marriage - How to Have a Happy Marriage - Redbook Get the recipe for a happy marriage in these 'how to' tips, secrets, and quotes from experts — and real-life couples. www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/​marriage/happy-marriage - Cached EastEnders set for a happy couple? - RTÉ Ten One of the characters in 'EastEnders' is to propose, but the path to the big day will reportedly not be a smooth one. The Mirror reports that Phil Mitchell (Steve ... www.rte.ie/ten/2011/0113/​eastenders.html - Cached Characteristics of Happy Couples | eHow.com We've all seen couples that just exude love and happiness. They seem so together and are practically always on the same wavelength. You probably wonder what their ... www.ehow.com/info_8242466_​characteristics-happy-couples.html - Cached 5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day My wife and I have a ridiculously happy marriage. Really, it's almost disgusting. www.webmd.com/.../5-things-super-happy-​couples-every-day - Cached == 5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day WebMD Feature from "Redbook" MagazineBy Ty Wenger Lord knows this is not the sort of thing guys brag about. But my wife and I have a ridiculously happy marriage. Really, it's almost disgusting. We paw each other in public. We goof around like a pair of simpletons. We basically act like giddy newlyweds in the middle of happy hour. Sometimes we'll do something so revolting, like sitting on the couch and drawing smiley faces on the bottoms of each other's feet, that we're forced to make hacking, gagging noises to maintain our dignity. Actually, this happened just last week. See, I told you it was disgusting. It hasn't always been this way. In fact, I'm not ashamed to admit that our current marital bliss is the result of almost a year of counseling, a desperate effort undertaken several years ago, when we appeared destined for doom. What we learned then is something all happy couples eventually discover: A good marriage is a bit like a pet boa constrictor: either you feed it every day or bad things happen. Daily habits are extremely helpful in forging solid marriages, says couples therapist Tina Tessina, author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free. "If you're really interested in making your relationship work, little rituals are a great way to do it." Want examples? Look no further than Tessina and her husband, Richard, who have developed an array of daily relationship builders during their 19 years of marriage: Every morning, they repeat their wedding vows to each other; they hold regular state-of-the-union meetings; and (my personal favorite) Tina routinely leaves Post-it Notes for Richard ("Hi, honey! Have a great day!") stuck to the underside of the toilet seat (think about it). "Every marriage has what I call a relationship reservoir, or the stored-up emotional energy of the relationship," says Tessina. And although these daily habits are all very simple things, they help fill that reservoir. When there's a lot of positive energy there, you give each other a little pat on the butt or say, "I'm so glad I'm sharing my life with you," and you're storing it up. Then when the relationship is under stress, you'll have the energy you need to get through. We asked happy couples across the United States to tell us about marriage-strengthening solutions they've developed. Try your hand at incorporating a few into your daily life and maybe you can be as ridiculously, embarrassingly, revoltingly happily married as I am. Want to know the one thing that's most important to a successful marriage? That's easy. Walk up to your husband and surprise him with this one-question relationship quiz: You: "Honey, what do you think is the one thing most important to a successful marriage?" continued... Him: "Umm, uh did you say something?" And, well, there you have it. Happily married couples typically say their relationships work better when they can sit down and gab one-on-one, like thinking, feeling adults. But who's got time for that? Actually, anybody who sleeps at night, if you follow the lead of Julie and Thom and their nightly visits to their "igloo." "It all started one winter night years ago, when Julie had had a really bad day," says Thom, 33, a marketing director in Columbus, Ohio. "We were huddled under the covers of our bed, and Julie was describing how all the people who made her day miserable were 'bad polar bears' and how she didn't want any of the bad polar bears coming into the bedroom and how the bed was our refuge from them. You realize how embarrassing it is to admit this, right? Anyway, that's when we started calling the bed the igloo." "The igloo is a place to retreat to," says Julie, 31. "It's our little sanctuary; only nice things happen in the igloo." Eventually Julie and Thom began holding a powwow in the igloo at the end of every day, making a nightly excursion that Julie says has become a vital part of their five-year marriage. "It's funny, because I always thought that when you lived with somebody, you'd automatically know everything that was going on," she says. "But we find that if we don't take that time to connect with each other, it's really easy for life to get in the way. The igloo offers one of the few times in the day where there's not a whole heck of a lot else going on, so you're able to focus on each other in a deeper way." Of course, you don't need to christen major pieces of furniture with cute nicknames to improve the communication in your marriage. You simply have to set aside a few minutes every day to remind each other of why you got married in the first place. And there are as many ways to do that as there are marriages in America. Lori and Joe, who are happily married in Philadelphia, have a nightly ritual they call crook time. That's when Lori cuddles up in the "crook" of Joe's shoulder and they talk. "The name's a little sappy," Lori admits, "but it's always a nice way for us to catch up." Every night, Angie and Bob walk their pet Chihuahua, Chachi, through the streets of Brookline, Massachusetts. In addition to keeping Chachi from picking dogfights he could never win ("He has a bit of a Napoleon complex," Bob says), they use the time to strengthen their 11-year marriage. It may be going a bit far to emulate Tim and Jill, a Connecticut couple who somewhat sheepishly admit that they check in with each other from work "six, maybe seven times a day," Tim says, "sometimes a dozen times when we're really being crazy." (Jill says, slightly more defiantly, "He's just my best friend, and our marriage is a great partnership, and there's no one I'd rather talk to.") continued... Then again, if you've been married 10 years and still want to talk to each other 10 times a day, you must be doing something right. Back when you were 14 years old, you probably figured that once you got married, you'd have sex just about every day. (Well, maybe teenage girls don't think that way. But let me tell you, 14-year-old boys sure do.) And why not? Sex is free. It's fun. And it doesn't require the purchase of any equipment, besides the occasional bottle of vegetable oil and about 20 feet of nylon rope. But as they get older, most couples realize that having sex every night isn't possible, let alone a worthy goal. Indeed, a 1994 University of Chicago survey of Americans' sexual habits found that only about a third of adults have sex more than once a week. Granted, that number might have been higher if all the couples having sex more frequently had stopped to take the surveyor's phone call, but clearly, sex for most married couples is far from a daily reality. That doesn't mean, though, that you can't at least talk sexy every day, and that's the approach that Ed and Stephanie have taken in the more than six years they've been together. "It's funny," says Ed, a 33-year-old San Francisco cab driver, "because we know plenty of married couples who fight, a lot, about how often they have sex. The wife's upset because all he ever wants to do is have sex; the husband's upset because he doesn't think they have sex enough. But this has never really been a problem with us, and I think it has a lot do with the fact that we're always talking sexy to each other." "Absolutely," says Stephanie, a 32-year-old massage therapist. "We're always complimenting each other, tossing out fantasies, telling each other we're hot. He gets to feel like he can have sexual feelings, and I feel like I don't have to have sex all the time to appear attractive. "Let's put it this way: The way I see it, sex is like chocolate cake. After five days of eating chocolate cake, even chocolate cake doesn't taste that great." "Right," Ed says, "but after five days of talking about chocolate cake?" "That cake tastes damn good." Eavesdrop on a conversation between Bob and Angie concerning their favorite shared pastime. "We are so disgusting. This is so pathetic. It's like a sickness." "But it makes us happy!" "It's so stupid it makes us laugh." "We're yelling at people. High-fiving each other." "Look, we get a kick out of it because it's so ridiculous. It's our guilty pleasure." Forgive them if they seem somewhat shy, but they're merely ashamed to admit that the daily ritual that brings such joy to their 12-year marriage is none other than reality TV. That's right. They lived and died with Survivor. They've adopted Big Brother. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? They do. Not to mention TemptationIsland, The Weakest Link, The Real World, Chains of Love, Fear Factor, The Mole (yes, really, The Mole). continued... "Honestly, I think we just need to be dumb for a while," says Bob, 37, a shoe designer for Reebok in Boston. "We're both very into our careers. And when you're at work, with any job there's going to be a certain amount of professional stress. You like to come home sometimes and, for that lousy hour or whatever, kick back and relax." Or as Angie, 36, a marketing executive, says, "Life is serious enough, isn't it? Sometimes you need to do something stupid. And if you can't be stupid with your husband, who can you be stupid with? So hold on, then: Is domestic joy found in partners smothering each other in obsessive daily rituals ("Honey, don't forget, at 7:15 we have our nightly cuddle, followed by the affirmation of our vows, our 7:35 spontaneous flirtation, and then, of course, a new episode of Moesha at eight")? Hardly. In fact, Tessina says that sleepwalking through a series of hollow routines (although probably an apt description of your day job) is worse for your marriage than having no routines at all. The solution, she says, is to also make a daily habit of getting away from each other. "You know that old saying, 'How can I miss you if you don't go away?'" Tessina asks. "Doing things separately gives you a chance to fill in the blanks that your partner can't fill in for you, for example, one of you likes classical music, the other one likes sports. Plus, taking a break from each other gives you more things to talk about, because when you're joined at the hip, what's to talk about? You've already seen it all." The point, naturally, is not to make space for each other in that I-can't-wait-to-get-away-from-you sort of way but to pursue your own hobbies and interests. It's a distinction that Joe tried hard to make to Lori during their delicate pre-engagement negotiations four years ago. "As a woman, you get this message that when you get married, you spend every single waking second with your husband and you're so unbelievably happy," says Lori, 34. "And my parents actually do spend every single waking second together, and oddly enough, they are happy. So that's how I grew up thinking you were supposed to be. But when I told him this, Joe was like, 'I-don't-think-so.'" "Because I watched my parents," says Joe, 29, whose parents divorced when he was 22, "and yeah, they spent every moment together, but they spent every moment together at each other's throats." "So Joe had to convince me that having our own lives was a good idea," Lori explains. "I'm thankful he did." These days Lori and Joe are practically poster children for the power of independence. Joe, who works for a nonprofit agency, spends his nights taking painting classes, building youth centers, and recording his guitar sessions. Lori, a college professor, spends hers directing community-theater musicals and indulging in trashy movies on cable television, a passion that Joe (go figure) doesn't seem to share. continued... "It all brings a freshness to our marriage because we both continue to grow as people," Joe says. "Plus," says Lori, "getting out of the house and out of each other's hair keeps us from going crazy." And — we asked the experts, so we know — going crazy is definitely not one of the secrets of a happy marriage. In another University of Chicago survey, this one of married couples, 75 percent of the Americans who pray with their spouses reported that their marriages are "very happy" (compared to 57 percent of those who don't). Those who pray together are also more likely to say they respect each other, discuss their marriage together, and — stop the presses — rate their spouses as skilled lovers. Not to say that prayer is a cure for all that ails you (were that the case, my beloved Oakland Raiders would have won the Super Bowl years ago). But whether they're talking about a simple grace at dinnertime or some soul-searching meditation, couples routinely say that a shared spiritual life helps keep them close. And as Doug and Beth say, even couples who are on different sides of the theological fence can benefit from praying together daily. "We have been married for seven years, but praying together is something we didn't start doing until about a year ago," says Doug, a 32-year-old Salt Lake City biochemist. "In the past, whenever we faced big decisions, we'd have discussion after discussion about them, but we'd never really come to a resolution." After two 1,000-mile moves, the birth of three children, and two job changes, all in the past four years, those difficult decisions had begun to take a toll. So when Beth asked Doug, a nonreligious and self-proclaimed man of science, to try praying with her, he figured they had nothing to lose. "I soon found that praying together brings out a real sense of selflessness and humility," Doug says. "When you're praying for each other, not yourself, you're focused together and speaking from the heart on a whole different level. I would never have predicted this for us, but it really works." "As bad as any problem may seem at that moment," agrees Beth, "prayer always helps us see beyond it. It doesn't have to be a long-drawn-out scripture reading, just a few minutes a day. When we pray, it brings another level of honesty to our conversations. I think it's the most intimate thing you can do with another person." Now they pray together every night, once the "urchins" are in bed, which puts them in the company of the 32 percent of American married couples who say they pray together regularly. It also puts them in the company of Julie and Thom, when the other couple isn't holed up in their igloo, of course. continued... "It's pretty short and not at all scripted," says Julie about their giving thanks before each meal. "We just join hands and let it rip. Whether we're asking for forgiveness or giving thanks, saying it out loud holds a lot of power. "Besides, regardless of religion or spiritual preference, I think that most marriages require a ton of faith," Julie sums up. "You've got to believe that somehow the two of you are going to make it through things. You've got to believe that you're being blessed with this person. And even if the power we feel just comes from the strength of our love, even if we don't believe that it's God who is helping us, I still think that it's good to acknowledge that there's a force between the two of us that's helping us out." Originally published on November 17, 2001 Related content on redbookmag.com Sex Secrets of Really Happy Couple 25 Ways to Get Connected What Your Body Language Says About Your Relationship What a Friend's Divorce Means for Your Marriage The Secrets Couples Keep