Cooperation

Competition vs. Cooperation
I never particularly liked to compete, but I was taught to compete for grades, for attention and for approval. I was taught that my value was in my looks and performance, not in my goodness, kindness, caring and compassion.
Now I know that there is far more joy and achievement in cooperation than competition. Now I know that I can define my own worth through my intrinsic qualities of goodness, gentleness, kindness, creativity, caring and compassion, rather than competing to be seen as worthy through others' eyes.

http://margaretpaul.com/self-improvement-personal-growth/are-you-making-these-4-mistakes
...
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!
Posted in Self Improvement & Personal Growth

Sfinti căsătoriţi

Selecţie realizată dupa cartea:
“Căsătoria , cale spre sfinţenie – Vieţile sfinţilor căsătoriţi“,
de David şi Mary Ford,
Editura Sophia,
Bucureşti, 2001

Septembrie

Sfantul Anghel, Noul Mucenic – 1 septembrie, Constantinopol, sec.XVII
Sfintii Teodot si Rufina – 2 septembrie, Asia Mica, sec.III
Sfintii Zaharia si Elisabeta – 5 septembrie, Palestina, sec.1
Sfintii Eudoxie si Vasilissa – 6 septembrie, Armenia, sec. III-IV
Sfintii Ioachim si Ana – 9 septembrie, Palestina, sec. I i.Hr.
Sfanta Teodora din Alexandria – 11 septembrie, Egipt, sec. V
Sfintii Dimitrie si Evantia – 11 septembrie, Asia Mica, sec.I
Regina Ketevana – 13 septembrie, Georgia, sec.XVII
Sfantul Filotei, Facatorul de Minuni – 15 septembrie, Asia Mica, sec.X
Sfintii Eustatie si Teopista – 20 septembrie, Roma si Egipt, sec. I-II
Sfanta Doroteia – 24 septembrie, Rusia, sec.XVII
Sfintii Chiril si Maria – 26 septembrie, Rusia, sec.XIV
Sfantul Grigorie Luminatorul – 30 septembrie, Armenia, sec.III-IV

Octombrie

Sfanta Domnina – 4 octombrie, Siria, sec.IV
Sfantul Ammun Egipteanul – 4 octombrie, Egipt, sec.IV
Sfintii Edwin si Ethelburga – 4 octombrie, Anglia, sec.VII
Sfintii Andronic si Atanasia – 9 octombrie, Antiohia, sec. VI
Sfantul Ignatie din Mitilena – 14 octombrie, Grecia, sec.XVI
Sfintii Terentie si Neonila – 28 octombrie, Siria, sec.III
Sfantul Timotei de la Esfigmenu – 29 octombrie, Tracia, sec. XIX
Sfintii Cleopa si Maria – 30 octombrie, Palestina, sec.I

Noiembrie

Sfantul Ioan Imparatul – 4 noiembrie, Nicea, sec.XIII
Sfintii Galaction si Epistimia – 5 noiembrie, Edessa si Sinai, sec. III
Sfantul Valaam Keretki – 6 noiembrie, Rusia, sec.XVI
Sfintii Melasip si Cassina – 7 noiembrie, Asia Mica, sec.IV
Sfantul Stefan Deciani 11 noiembrie, Serbia, sec.XIV
Sfanta Stefanida
Sfantul Ioan Milostivul – 12 noiembrie, Cipru si Egipt, sec. VI-VII
Sfintii Filimon si Apfia – 22noiembrie, Colosse si Gaza, sec. I
Sfantul Iacov Persul – 27 noiembrie, Persia, sec.IV-V

Decembrie

Sfantul Spiridon – 12 decembrie, Cipru, sec.IV
Sfanta Teofana Imparateasa – 16 decembrie, Constantinopol, sec.IX
Sfantul Filogonie – 20 decembrie, Antiohia, sec. III-IV
Sfanta Melania Romana si Pinian – 31decembrie, Roma si Tara Sfanta, sec. IV-V

Ianuarie

Sfanta Iuliana Lazarevskaia – 2 ianuarie , alta sursa
Sfanta Xenia din Petersburg – 24 ianuarie, Rusia, sec.XVIII
Sfintii Xenofont si Maria – 26 ianuarie, Constantinopol si Ierusalim, sec.V

Februarie

Sfanta Gorgonia – 23 februarie, Iconia si Cappadocia, sec.IV

Martie

Sfantul Conon si Ana – 5 martie, Isauria, sec.I-II
Sfantul Aristobul – 16 martie, Cipru si Britania, sec.I
Sfintii Hrisant si Daria – 19martie, Alexandria, Atena, Roma

Aprilie

Mai

Sfintii Esper si Zoe – 2 mai, Pamfilia si Roma, sec.I-II
Sfintii Timotei si Mavra – 3 mai, Egipt, sec. III
Sfinţii Rictrude şi Adalbald – 12 Mai, Franţa şi Belgia, sec. VII
Sfinţii Serghie şi Irina – 13 Mai, Bizanţ, încep. Sec. IX
Sfintii Andronic si Iunia – 17 mai, Roma si Pannonia, sec.I
Sfinţii Emilia şi Vasilie cel Batrân – 8 Mai sau 30 Mai, Cappadocia, sec. IV

Iunie

Sfânta Clotilda şi Regele Clovis – 3 iunie, Franţa, sec. V-VI
Sfânta Sofia – 4 iunie, Tracia (nord-estul Greciei)
Sfântul Marcu Noul Mucenic – 5 iunie, Smirna şi Chios, sec. XVIII-XIX
Sfinţii Macrina cea Bătrână şi Vasilie – 30 mai, Pont (Asia Mică), începutul sec. IV
Sfânta Maria cea Nouă – Grecia, cca. sec. XIV
Sfântul Leonid – 5 Iunie, Egipt, sec. II
Sfinţii Nicandru şi Daria – 8 Iunie, Încep. Sec. III
Sfântul Marchian – 8 Iunie, Încep. Sec. III
Sfântul Gheorghe, Noul Mucenic din Attalia – 25 Iunie, Asia Mică, sec. XIX
Sfinţii Petru şi Fevronia – 25 Iunie, Rusia, sec. XIII
Sfinţii Lazăr şi Miliţa – 15 Iunie şi 19 Iulie, Serbia, sf. Sec. XIV

Iulie

Sfanta si Dreapta Marta, Maica Sfantului Simion – 4 iulie, Antiohia, sec.VI
Sfintii Mucenici Marin si Marta – 6 iulie, Persia si Roma, sec.III
Sfintii Dorotei si Eusebia – 7 iulie, Nicomidia, vestul Asiei Mici, sec. IV
Sfanta Golinduhia – 13 iulie, Babilon, Nisibis, Ierusalim, sec.VI
Sfintii Vladimir si Ana – 15 iulie, Rusia, sec. X-XI
Sfinţii Lazăr şi Miliţa – 15 Iunie şi 19 Iulie, Serbia, sf. Sec. XIV
Sfantul Atanasie din Chios -  24 iulie, Grecia, sec. XVII
Sfintii Aurelie si Natalia si Sfintii Felix si Liliosa -  27 iulie, Spania, sec. IX

August

Sfanta Teoclita Facatoarea de minuni – 3 august, sec. IX
Sfîntul Sfintit Miron, Episcopul Cretei, facatorul de minuni – 8 august, Creta, sec.IV
Sfanta Irina a Constantinopolului si Imparatul Kaloioan -  Ungaria si Constantinopol , sec. XII
Sfintii Isaac si Rebeca – 21 august,  Palestina, cca. 1900 î.H.
Sfintii Adrian si Natalia – 26 august, Nicomidia, sec.IV

Sursa:
http://tainacasatoriei.wordpress.com/sfinti-casatoriti/

Rugaciune pentru dragoste

Doamne Dumnezeule, si toti ingerii, sfintii si sfintele tale, fa sa traim impreuna pe veci, fericiti ca in ceruri. Intre noi sa fie credinta, iubire, fidelitate, atentie, grija, incurajare, bucurie, smerenie, prietenie, daruire, rabdare, intelegere, speranta, iertare, unire, blandete, bunatate, sprijin, lumina, respect, empatie, adevar, dorinta, tarie, crestere. Sa impartim binele intre noi. Impreuna sa prevenim raul si sa-l impiedicam sa se mai manifeste. Sa vedem în adâncul celuilalt întreaga splendoare divina. Sa depasim impreuna toate limitarile umane. Amandoi sa ajungem la tine in rai.



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http://www.bing.com/search?q=Rugaciune+pentru+dragoste&src=IE-SearchBox&Form=IE8SRC

...
 
Rugaciune pentru sot (sotie)


Rugaciune pentru sot (sotie) ... Miluieste-ne ca sa putem trai vietile noastre in credinta si dragoste. Ajuta-ne sa ...
crez.org/rugaciuni/ruga_pentru_sot-sotie.asp


Doamne, Dumnezeul nostru, care ne-ai invatat sa ne rugam tot timpul unul pentru celalalt, ... ai grija si pazeste pe sotul meu (sotia mea) de toate relele, cele vazute si cele nevazute.


Da-i lui (ei) sanatate si intelepciune ca sa-si indeplineasca toate indatoririle, cele dupa vointa si porunca Ta. Pazeste-l (o) de toate ispitele carora le-ar putea cadea prada.

Sprijineste-l (o) in credinta adevarata si dragoste, ca sa putem trai impreuna in cinste, si lumineaza-ne caile dupa voia Ta.

Ca a Ta este puterea si gloria in vecii vecilor. Amin.

Bunule Doamne, ajuta-ne sa ne amintim mereu de sfintenia casatoriei si intareste legatura noastra. Miluieste-ne ca sa putem trai vietile noastre in credinta si dragoste.

Ajuta-ne sa ne intelegem si sa avem incredere unul in altul si departeaza de la noi certurile.

Binecuvanteaza-ne si ai mila de noi, ca sa fim demni de imparatia Ta; ca Tu esti preasfant, si Tie ne inchinam.

In numele Tatalui, al Fiului si al Sfantului Duh, acum si in vecii vecilor.

Amin
 



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Rugaciune pentru a gasi un suflet pereche




Doamne Dumnezeule,

Te rog pe Tine şi pe îngerii iubirii să mă ajutaţi să am o relaţie minunată de dragoste cu sufletul meu pereche. Vă rog să mă îndrumaţi să-mi găsesc sufletul pereche, să mă ajutaţi să-l întâlnesc şi să ne bucurăm unul de altul cât mai curând. Vă cer ajutorul pentru a crea condiţiile să pot avea această minunată relaţie sufletească chiar acum. Vă rog să mă ajutaţi să-mi vindec orice blocaje mentale, trupeşti sau emoţionale, care m-ar face să mă tem de iubirea cea mare. Vă rog să mă ajutaţi să aud şi să urmez îndrumările divine ce-mi vor permite să găsesc şi să mă bucur de această relaţie sufletească. Ştiu că sufletul meu pereche mă caută cu aceeaşi ardoare cu care şi eu îl caut pe el. Amândoi vă rugăm să ne ajutaţi să ne întâlnim, să ne cunoaştem şi să acceptăm binecuvântările marii iubiri. Mulţumesc.



http://www.lumeaingerilor.ro/LinkClick.aspx?link=241&tabid=381&mid=1180

de la
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Rugaciune+dragoste&view=detail&id=1A913FAF6E6F572C236DE05C31D0DC90733C5F56&first=1&FORM=IDFRIR





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Rugaciune pentru dragoste

Da-mi Doamne puterea sa iubesc fara sa cer iubire si daca primesc iubire, da-mi Doamne puterea, sa o las sa fie libera.



http://www.dindragoste.ro/rugaciuni/rugaciune-8278363.php






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10 Commandments of Love


1.Give 100%.

2.Treat your partner as the unique individual that he/she truly is.

3.Stay connected through word and deed.

4.Accept change and support growth in yourself and your partner.

5.Live your love.

6.Share the love, fear, work, and play.

7.Listen to your mate.

8.Honor the subtle wisdom of the heart and listen to the powerful insights of the mind.

9.Do no be a jerk or a nag.

10.Integrate the purity of spiritual love with the passion of physical love and the power of emotional love.
 
http://www.dindragoste.ro/love/10-commandments-of-love.php

Communication Tools

eHow.com

often it's useful to adopt different strategies or tools to help "kick-start" a relationship's problem with expression. While the effectiveness of these tools will vary with each couple, the process of experimenting with them can shed light on previously unexplored emotional territory; this can break down barriers in communication, and allow for both individuals to express themselves more clearly within their relationship.

• When communication breaks down, it's important to talk about why you think it has declined. Perhaps there was a single event when somebody's feelings were hurt, and after that they felt too afraid or resentful to express themselves clearly?

• Pretend that you're on your first date with the person. Ask the "typical" first-date questions, finding about where they're from and what they're interested in. Although it might seem silly, it can actually be an affectionate way of rediscovering what brought you two together initially.

• Although it sounds easy, try to find a specific time that can be dedicated to the other person. Make sure that this is something outside of your normal routine which requires demonstrates that you're not just "fitting them in" around your busy life. Finding this time shows that you respect them, and it can go a long way toward improving trust between you.

• Tell one another what your ideal situation would be with the other person. Sometimes people feel too worried about seeming selfish to do this, and so they mask their real desires in order to seem more accommodating.

• Accept that you can't read one another's minds, and that it's unrealistic for your partner to always know instinctively what's wrong. Instead of being annoyed when your partner can't guess why you're upset, you should trust that they really do want to know, and that they'll always want you to tell them.

References

• University of Michigan: Communication in Loving Relationships
• Houston Community College Southwest: Communication Skills for Lifelong Relationships
• California State University, Long Beach: Love & Communication in Relationships

Gender differences

Why She Criticizes You

http://www.askmen.com/feeder/askmenRSS_article_print_2006.php?ID=1037154


You're right: her criticisms have nothing to do with you. It's all in her biology (and socialization).

By Farah Averill,

Page 1: Why She Criticizes You


Why She Criticizes You

A near universal experience for men is being criticized or nagged by their girlfriends or wives. Feeling like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make your partner’s irksome behavior stop is another commonality uniting men the world over. Interestingly, it’s not happenstance that men find themselves in the position of being criticized more than the other way around. Differing biology and socialization both play a role in explaining why men tend to be the ones who get criticized in a relationship. If you can identify with being the target of a woman’s wrath, then this article is for you. Read on to learn exactly what it is that makes your girlfriend explode and how you can successfully encourage her to ease off.

Women express themselves differently

While the extent to which biology and socialization respectively influence how men and women express themselves has yet to be determined, research has demonstrated that women tend to produce more emotion-oriented messages than men. One study, for example, found that, when asked to write a story about love, men’s narratives were 50% shorter than women’s (Barbara, 2008). As well, evidence suggests that men are more likely to favor a problem-focused approach in response to a stressful situation, whereas women will focus on emotional support.



In your relationship, these differing styles of expression explain why, when you take out the trash as a symbolic gesture of your feelings for your partner, she won’t necessarily understand the loving intentions behind this act. Also, when your significant other is telling you about her stressful day, though your inclination is to help her find a solution to her difficulty, she’s actually seeking supportive words rather than concrete help. These gender differences mean that you may find that your partner frequently accuses you of being insufficiently loving because she’s expecting you to be more emotionally attuned and expressive.



To set her straight in terms of how you feel about her, try expressing positive feelings toward your partner more often, but don’t forget to let her know that when you do something for her, like change the tires on her car, it’s another way of saying you care.

It takes men longer to cool off

When you’re in the midst of a disagreement with your partner and you’re starting to feel angry, chances are you might end up shutting down and withdrawing emotionally. That’s because when humans are overwhelmed by negative emotions, their bodies give them two options: fight (criticize) or flight (withdraw). The reason men tend to go into withdrawal mode is that their cardiovascular systems are much more reactive to stress compared to women’s, making the experience of strong negative emotions extremely uncomfortable.



In order to avoid that sensation, men shut down. Unfortunately, rather than making the problem go away, when you tune out in response to your partner’s criticism, she feels like she’s not being heard, which makes her criticize you even more and you then shut down further -- in short, a vicious cycle ensues that can have a major impact on the quality of your relationship. In fact, in one study, physiological measures, such as heart rate and blood pressure, explained 60% of the variation in how satisfied couples felt in their relationships (Levenson & Gottman, 1983). To break free of this negative cycle, the next time you’re having an argument with your other half and things are getting too heated for you, say something like: “I feel too angry right now to continue this conversation and I need to take a 40-minute break.” Being specific about your feelings and your need for a (long) time-out lets her know where you stand and she’ll likely be receptive to your statement because she won’t feel ignored.



Read on for more tips on why she criticizes you...



Page 2: She Criticizes You



Women crave social engagement

Some theorists speculate that the female brain is more primed for social connection than its male counterpart. For example, according to Dr. Luan Brizendine, author of The Female Mind, even from infancy, baby girls will spend more time gazing into the eyes of others than baby boys. Later, in childhood, girls tend to play games that involve relationships rather than action-packed adventure scenarios. Fast-forward to adulthood and Brizendine notes that women talk three times as much as men, uttering an average of 20,000 words a day compared to 7,000 in men. Because females may crave sharing and engaging more than men and it may be more linked to their self-esteem, when they can’t satisfy this hunger, more desperate actions may be taken in a bid to get your attention, including criticizing.



In effect, criticizing can be your girlfriend’s way of saying, “Listen to me, I matter!” To get around this problem so that you have enough alone time and your mate feels valued, set aside some time each day, even if it’s only 20 minutes, to chat with her. During this period, give her your full, undivided attention and try to not take over the conversation. Also, make it clear that you need time to unwind alone. For example, you could say: “I’d really like to talk to you, but my day was stressful and I need to chill out first.”

Men hoard power

In a romantic relationship, men typically have greater difficulty sharing power than women do. While the jury is still out on whether the reasons behind this finding are biological, social or both, according to relationship scientist John Gottman, one thing is clear: If you’re not willing to share power with your partner, there is an 81% chance your relationship won’t last. What’s more, when your relationship suffers from a serious power imbalance, you’re more likely to be on the receiving end of a lot of criticism from your partner, simply because feeling like her opinion doesn’t matter translates into anger. Curb her criticizing by taking small steps to share some of the power in your relationship. Start by giving in to one of her requests in an area that’s not particularly important to you. Or, talk over a major decision together, doing your best to take her input into account before acting.

make it work

While men and women don’t live on separate planets, there are undeniable gender differences that crop up in a relationship that can even lead to its demise if they’re not adequately addressed. Understanding these dissimilarities and learning how to use them to your advantage, however, can help you turn a critical situation around. So, implement the new tools you’ve learned about here and expect a lot more peace and quiet around your home.



More:
http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/keywords/gender-differences.html




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One Guy's Guide to Guys for Brides: All About (Most) Fiancés & Husbands

http://www.stayhitched.com/guys.htm

...when it comes to weddings, the genders are usually worlds apart. Sure the wedding will be a special time for both of you. You can agree on that. But guys, unlike women, generally haven't spent a lifetime dreaming about the specifics (or even the generalities) of their wedding. Very likely, he never gave it that much thought before the wedding planning started. Hey, a wedding is a wedding, right?
This isn't his fault. The culture has different expectations for guys. You may have known the color of the bridesmaids' dresses since you were six, but he can still tell you the batting average of every player on the hometown team that won the World Series when he was a kid.
So if he doesn't seem quite as fascinated by decisions about the flowers and the invitations as you might wish, don't take it personally. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about the wedding or marrying you. He may have some ideas and preferences about the wedding, but sometimes guys hold back because they think or know that you have strong preconceived notions of how you want the wedding to be. Or, because they haven't been fantasizing about their wedding forever, it may take them some catch-up time to figure out what they really want from their wedding. Meanwhile, if you're, understandably, racing ahead under the wedding schedule deadlines, he may end up feeling that his input isn't needed.
Speaking of wedding planning, this brings up another gender difference that makes a difference. Planning is full of decision-making that can involve sensitive issues. (You just have to know that with money, relatives, religion and friends all involved, it's never going to be all that uncomplicated.) Guys have a real different way of responding to touchy issues. (Maybe you've noticed?)
Ever wonder exactly why he seems to disappear emotionally sometimes when the going gets rough? While women tend predominantly toward a style of engagement when it comes to handling sensitive issues, and are more tolerant of confrontation and conflict, this is not how most guys deal with these situations. Men tend predominantly toward a style of withdrawal and conflict avoidance. Research shows that the basis for these differences may be physiological differences in tolerance for and response to stress: Men become more easily and more quickly overloaded by feelings of distress. This also helps to explain why although some guys can dish it (criticism, anger, etc.) out, they can't necessarily take it.
Understanding these gender differences can help explain why he may grow silent just at the moment that you want and need a feeling response from him. He's not ignoring you and your feelings or emotionally unavailable. He's just temporarily unavailable while he struggles with the confusion that accompanies emotional flooding. We suggest taking a short break. Don't put your important concerns aside indefinitely, but just long enough to let him recover his composure. About twenty minutes is usually enough--if he can really relax during the break. It also helps to be sure to bring up sensitive issues gently, so you don't send him into emotional outer orbit (beyond Neptune) right at the beginning of a difficult discussion. Men generally handle communication better when there are some rules to make it more managable. For example, it may help to make an appointment for a mutually agreeable time to discuss an issue.
A final thought: Don't read his mind. Contrary to popular belief, women are not born with telepathic abilities. They just seem to have an almost genetic predisposition to try to read male minds. Actually, it's social conditioning that makes women especially sensitive to trying to read their emotional environment. When he's quiet, it's not an invitation to guess what's on his mind. Wait until he figures it out for himself and can explain it to you. When you assume that you know what he's thinking, it just puts more pressure on him and adds to the confusion.
And don't expect him to read yours either. He can't. If you really want that special birthday gift that you have set your heart on, you'd better say something about it. Many guys just aren't attuned to those little hints that women are so skilled at detecting. Things that seem obvious to women usually aren't to men.
So, there you have it: Our brief guide to fiancés and husbands. The best guide, though, is your partner. Talk with him about gender styles and agree on some strategies to compensate for and benefit from them. 

Couple bonding

Human bonding - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Pair bonding

Main article: Pair bond

The term pair bond originated in 1940 in reference to mated pairs of birds. It is a generic term signifying a monogamous or relatively monogamous relationship in either humans or animals. The term is commonly used in sociobiology and evolutionary psychology.^[3] Pair bonding, usually of a fairly short duration, occurs in a variety of primate species. Some scientists speculate that prolonged bonds developed in humans along with increased sharing of food.^[4]

 

[edit] Limerent bond

Main article: Limerence

According to limerence theory, posited in 1979 by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, a certain percentage of couples may go through what is called a limerent reaction, in which one or both of the pair may experience a state of passion mixed with continuous intrusive thinking, fear of rejection, and hope. Hence, with all human romantic relationships, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence:

1. Affectional bond: define relationships in which neither partner is limerent.
2. Limerent–Nonlimerent bond: define relationships in which one partner is limerent.
3. Limerent–Limerent bond: define relationships in which both partners are limerent.

The constitution of these bonds may vary over the course of the relationship, in ways that may either increase or decrease the intensity of the limerence. The basis and interesting characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on her research and interviews with over 500 people, all human bonded relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the relationship.



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http://www.bing.com/search?q=couple+bonding+&form=QBRE3

15 Bonding Activities for Couples - Associated Content from Yahoo ...

Fifteen fun ways couples can spend quality time bonding.

www.associatedcontent.com/article/1533041/15_bonding_activities_for_couples.html

Bonding & Marriage Success

The biggest mistake that couples make is to take their bond for granted by assuming that their connection will stay strong because they love ...

www.stayhitched.com/bonding.htm

 ...

Spiritual Bond - Introduction

An important ingredient to any successful marriage is developing and maintaining a strong bond between the couple. This bond can be formed ...

www.sandiego.edu/interchurch/spiritualbond/spiritualbondintro.htm

Bonding Through Exercises for Couples

Bonding Through Exercises for Couples is a wonderful way to grow closer.

inhometrainers.com/articles/Couples-Bonding-Through-Exercise.htm

Bonding Activities for Couples | eHow.com

Bonding Activities for Couples. Whether you are a new couple, a long-term couple, newlyweds or seasoned marriage partners, bonding and re-bonding are essential ...

www.ehow.com/list_7483666_bonding-activities-couples.html

Love humor

http://www.bing.com/search?q=love+humor&src=IE-SearchBox&Form=IE8SRC

Humorous Quotes about Love @ WorkingHumor.com

Humorous Quotes about Love... put up Jest for Pun

workinghumor.com/quotes/love.shtml

Kid Dictionary: A must-read for moms who love humor | RichmondMom.com

3/25/2011 · And. . what mom doesn’t need a bit of humor in her world? Yesterday, my five-year-old said, “Mama, I don’t ever want to get old. Old people are wrinkly ...

richmondmom.com/2011/03/25/kid-dictionary-a-must-read-for-moms-who-love-humor

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Love humour

http://www.bing.com/search?q=love+humour&src=IE-SearchBox&Form=IE8SRC

Humorous Love Quote

Humor is like spice: the right amount can make a delicacy out of a bland meal. That's right, I said, "the right amount." So when it comes to using humor with your loved ...

quotations.about.com/od/lovequotes/a/lovequotes26.htm

...

Too Close for Comfort - The Obsessive Love Wheel

Tuesday, 03 February 2009 02:34 Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 September 2010 16:45 Written by John D. Moore, MS, LPC, CADC

178

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Article Index
Too Close for Comfort
Obsessive Love Wheel
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Page 2 of 2

The Obsessive Love Wheel

Phase One: The Attraction Phase

The initial phase of ORP is characterized by an instantaneous and overwhelming attraction to another person. It is at this point the relationally dependent person becomes "hooked" on a romantic interest, usually resulting from the slightest bit of attention from the person they are attracted to. Phase One ORP behaviors can include:

• An instant attraction to romantic interest, usually occurring within the first few minutes of meeting.
• An immediate urge to rush into a relationship - regardless of compatibility.
• Becoming "hooked on the look" of another, focusing on the person's physical characteristics while ignoring personality differences.
• Unrealistic fantasies about a relationship with a love interest, assigning "magical" qualities to an object of affection.
• The beginnings of obsessive, controlling behaviors begin to manifest.

Phase Two: The Anxious Phase

This phase in considered a relational turning point, which usually occurs after a commitment has been made between both parties. Sometimes however, the relationally dependent person will enter into this phase without the presence of a commitment. This happens when the afflicted person creates the illusion of intimacy, regardless of the other person's true feelings. The second phase of ORP behaviors can include:

• Unfounded thoughts of infidelity on the part of a partner and demanding accountability for normal daily activities.
• An overwhelming fear of abandonment, including baseless thoughts of a partner walking out on the relationship in favor of another person.
• The need to constantly be in contact with a love interest via phone, email or in person.
• Strong feelings of mistrust begin to emerge, causing depression, resentment and relational tension.
• The continuation and escalation of obsessive, controlling behaviors.

Phase Three: The Obsessive Phase

This particular phase represents the rapid escalation of this unhealthy attachment style. It is at this point that obsessive, controlling behaviors reach critical mass, ultimately overwhelming the RD person's life. It is also at this point that the person being controlled begins to pull back and ultimately, severs the relationship. In short, Phase Three is characterized by a total loss of control on the part of the RD person, resulting from extreme anxiety. Usually, the following characteristics are apparent during the third phase of ORP:

• The onset of "tunnel vision," meaning that the relationally dependent person cannot stop thinking about a love interest and required his or her constant attention.
• Neurotic, compulsive behaviors, including rapid telephone calls to love interest's place of residence or workplace.
• Unfounded accusations of "cheating" due to extreme anxiety.
• "Drive-bys" around a love interest's home or place of employment, with the goal of assuring that the person is at where "he or she is supposed to be."
• Physical or electronic monitoring activities, following a love interest's whereabouts throughout the course of a day to discover daily activities.
• Extreme control tactics, including questioning a love interest's commitment to the relationship (guilt trips) with the goal of manipulating a love interest into providing more attention.

Phase Four: The Destructive Phase

This is the final phase of Obsessive Relational Progression. It represents the destruction of the relationship, due to phase three behaviors, which have caused a love interest to understandably flee. For a variety of reasons, this is considered the most dangerous of the four phases, because the RD person suddenly plummets into a deep depression due to the collapse of the relationship. Here are some of the more common behaviors that are exhibited during phase four of ORP:

• Overwhelming feelings of depression (feeling "empty" inside).
• A sudden loss of self-esteem, due to the collapse of the relationship.
• Extreme feelings of self-blame and at times, self-hatred.
• Anger, rage and a desire to seek revenge against a love interest for breaking off the relationship.
• Denial that the relationship has ended and attempting to "win a loved one back" by making promises to "change".
• The use of drugs, alcohol, food or sex to "medicate" the emotional pain.

Summary

Sadly for most people who suffer from RD, the only way they can get off their chaotic wheel is by jumping onto a new one, causing the cycle of control to repeat itself in a new relationship. If what you have read speaks to your situation or the person you are involved with, then it may be time for help. There are specific reasons behind the affliction of RD, which can generally be traced to a person's past. Consider speaking with professional trained in the field of relationships, such as a mental health counselor or family and marriage therapist.
Relational Dependency is treatable but only when there is an acknowledgement that a problem exists. Bear in mind that changing controlling behaviors takes time and progress should not be expected to occur over night. By reaching out for support, the relationally dependent person is really reaching in.

Copyright © By: John D. Moore, MS, CADC

4 Tips For Women Who Want To Make The First Move | Stephanie Castillo | YourTango

　
With the kind of dating history Kim Kardashian has, one would never expect her to be shy when it comes to men, but this isn’t what we've seen on the E! series Kourtney & Kim Take New York. Yes, the Kardashian sisters are back and they’re in New York City to open and promote their Dash boutique. Kim, fresh out of a relationship with football player Miles Austin, is single for the show and ready to mingle. But, like many of us, she believes in the traditional idea that the guy is supposed to ask the girl out. And so she waits.
　
While we understand Kim's desire to be pursued (I mean, who doesn't want that, to some degree?), she doesn't necessarily have to be so passive about it. Modern dating rules make it OK for a woman to make the first move and we're quite glad that's the case. To boot, men love it when we ask them out, so here are four ways to help you do just that. Why Women Should Make The First Move
　
1. Be bold. Oftentimes a woman will convince herself that being the first to approach a guy looks desperate. But it’s the exact opposite. It takes a lot of courage to be the one to break the ice—for guys and gals—so this bold first move will not go unnoticed. Simply walk over and strike up a conversation. If you want to be a little more stealthy, buy him a beer. This works well if the guy who catches your eye is also shy because, as he seeks out a "thank you," he'll know you're interested.
　
2. Be confident. Guys don’t only enjoy when you take control in the bedroom, but in your dating life as well. And the sexiest thing a woman can wear is her confidence, so he'll love it if you have the guts to head over and chat him up first. Why? Because it’s refreshing. Men love a challenge when it comes to dating, but they also love a woman who isn't scared to go after what she wants. 5 Things That (Unexpectedly) Turn Men Off
　
3. Flirt! You must be thinking well, duh! But you would be surprised at how many women underestimate the power of flirting. Plus, men like to flirt just as much as we do—not to mention they love the attention. The trick is not too be too aggressive but playful and sweet. Lightly touch his arm during conversation. Smile. Ask him about himself. Contribute to the conversation but also listen. Flirting can make things a lot more comfortable and fun. 5 Types Of Flirting Men Love
　
4. Don't beat around the bush. Simply put, be direct. No matter how obvious we think a gesture or hint is, men just don't get subtlety and nuance the way women do. When communicating with men, it's OK (and actually productive) to be more direct than you would be with your ladyfriends. And telling him what you do and don't want helps a man feel less pressure to make all the decisions.
　
Do you have any other tips for making the first move? Share them with us in the comments!

But the Sex is So Good!

Tuesday, 03 February 2009 02:41 Last Updated on Thursday, 30 September 2010 12:24 Written by John D. Moore, MS, LPC, CADC

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Is it wrong to be in a relationship because the sex is satisfying?
Jill has a problem. "I've been dating Steve for four months now, but we really don't have that much in common - except for the sex," she admits. " I've never been with a man who gratifies me in the way that he does. When we have sex, it's like the fourth of July and Christmas all wrapped up into one. Just thinking about it now turns me on. I mean the sex is soooo good!"
Xavier reports a similar problem. "She's a lawyer and I am a construction worker, it's not like we have a great deal to talk about, " he remarks. "But when she sleeps over at my place, let's just say that we don't get much rest. I mean sexually, we are on the same page - but that's about it. It's not like we are in love or anything."
Can you relate? If so, then welcome to the elite club of the sexually attached couples. In this relational scenario, the primary experience that binds the couple together is sex and is generally devoid of love. Similar to infatuation, sexually attached couples experience high levels of passion, with low levels of intimacy and emotion. This begs the questions: "Is it wrong to be in a relationship with someone based purely on good sex?"
The simple answer is no, however it is a bit more complicated then that. So how do you really know if this kind of relationship is healthy? To answer this question, it may help to examine your motivations and feelings.
Consider asking yourself the following five questions.

1. Do I feel depressed after having sex?
2. Does my partner want more from the relationship than just sex?
3. Is their something personal going on in your life right now by which having a sexually stimulating experience relieves stress?
4. Have you recently broken up with another person and have found yourself using sex as a means to cope with the emotional loss?
5. Are you "hooked on the look" of your partner - meaning that you feel validated because he or she is attached to your arm?

If you found yourself answering "YES" to any of these questions, then it may be time to consider if this is truly the kind of relationship you want to be in. To be sure, there is nothing wrong with "sexually clicking" with another person and wanting to be physically stimulated. This is because we are all human beings and have certain "needs" that need to be attended to from time to time. But if the relationship is based solely on sex and is void of an emotional connection, then anticipate serious problems down the road. Why is this true? For the simple reason that at some point, the "fireworks in the bedroom" become less brilliant and you are eventually left with emptiness. In order for a healthy relationship to survive the long term, the ingredients of commitment, shared interests and good sex must be part of the relational equation. That said, if you have found yourself involved in a sexually attached relationship, seriously examine the motivations behind your desire to be with this person and don't be afraid to examine the physical connection vs. the emotional one. In the final analysis, you might just find that you have saved yourself a world of heartache and pain.
So go ahead, enjoy having sex with your partner and celebrate the fact that the "Sex is soooo good!" Just try to keep things in perspective. Who knows - in the future you just might find that "Prince Charming" or "Snow White" and go onto to build the relationship of your dreams!

Copyright © 2002 by John D. Moore, MS, CADC

5 Things That (Unexpectedly) Turn Men Off | Maressa Brown | YourTango

By Maressa Brown
　
And you thought just nagging him to death or dragging him to the latest rom-com blockbuster were the ultimate no-nos. Turns out, in the world of love, there are more than a handful of moves that can turn a guy off. Here, five of those things that might unexpectedly launch him right out of bed:
　
1. Your tears. A study, published recently in the journal Science, found that when men smell women's tears, they became less sexually aroused and were less attracted to the same women than when they smelled a saline solution that was dribbled on the women’s cheeks. Researchers think this may illustrate a biochemical cue women give off to non-verbally communicate, "Not tonight dear," particularly when we're PMS-ing or having our periods. Seems like the researchers simply didn't quite know what else to make of it, and therefore had to go and blame everyone's favorite sexist scapegoat, The Crimson Wave. Nonetheless, the writing's on the wall: If you want to keep him hot and bothered, it might pay to curb weepiness.
　
2. Painted-on pouts. Many of us never outgrow wanting to play "dress up." We wander the aisles at Sephora searching for the ultimate Pink lipstick or super-thickening, lengthening mascara. It's a win-win, right—we have fun playing with makeup, and the result is looking gorgeous. But apparently, men aren't as enthusiastic about it. A recent survey found that one in five men wished his partner would tone down their makeup, while one in ten said he liked women au naturel. If your guy falls into either category, you may do well to tell him, "Fine, but don't you DARE take a Twitpic of me like Russell did to Katy, or you're outta here!" Morning Breath: A Turn On?
　
3. Porn. You're thinking, "What, how can that be???" The occasional skin flick is probably no big thing, but experts say men who frequently view porn may develop unrealistic expectations of women's appearance and behavior, have difficulty forming and sustaining relationships and feeling sexually satisfied.
　
4. Fruity, or foody, scents. If you think you're going to get his motor running with that cotton candy or creme brulee body cream, think again. According to a scent test done by editors at Cosmopolitan, sugary-smelling, fruity or lollipop-ish perfumes make guys think of the candy store or the kitchen, not the bedroom. The better pick: Eau de Dove soap. Guys seem to prefer to steam it up with gals who smell like they came straight from a sudsy shower. 5 Fragrances That Make Men Drool

5. Soy. He might think he's being healthy—and saving you the anguish of dealing with the byproducts of his lactose intolerance!—when he chooses soy milk for his protein shake, but if you know what's good for your sex life, you'll tell him to step away from the soy! The isoflavones in the plant are similar to estrogens in the body, which can have a libido-quashing effect on men. In fact, there's a rumor that monks actually eat soy to stave off sexual urges.

Discover the sacred unity of body and soul

http://www.yourtango.com/2006143/spiritual-sex.html
　
...In my loving Catholic family, the word "sex" could stop conversations and make everyone freeze in embarrassment. I spent my teen years as a monk and seminarian. I didn't have sex until I was in my late twenties. How I Became A Divorced Virgin
　
Yet, despite all of this neurotic baggage, I came to enjoy sex as much as I am captivated by spirituality.
　
In the monastery, I was taught to see spirituality as part of religion. But my later studies opened up a much larger notion.
...
I read the famous Kama Sutra and was surprised to find that it is not all about sexual positions and preparations. It begins by instructing the reader to get two major aspects of life in order: First, find meaning in your existence.What are your personal laws and needs? What are you called to do? What is your dharma? Second, get your home and career on track. Give your life form. Have a philosophy that can guide you, and apply it to your everyday concerns. Only then will you be ready to learn how to make love. Career And Family: Can We Really Have Both?
...if a person's sexuality is not fully accepted, his spirituality will suffer. And vice versa: If his spirituality is not strong, his sexuality will be weak.
...I think of a human being as always, in every instance, made up of body, soul, and spirit. There is no such thing as purely physical love, because we are more than physical. So, be prepared for a broader notion of what sex is all about.
　
There are practical steps to go with these "commandments." Realize the importance, men and women, of taking care of your bodies: being clean, smelling nice, dressing well. Pay attention, as well, to what you say, talking with some intelligence and thoughtfulness. Choose the setting and props carefully: good oils, fragrances, linens. Spiritual rituals are always carried out with attention to detail and with beauty. Have an image nearby that captures the union of sex and spirit: a photograph of one of the couples on the Indian temples of Khajuraho or Konorak, for instance, or a picture of blue Krishna with his gopis and his girlfriend Radha.
　
I have a special love of early Renaissance paintings of the Annunciation, the moment when an angel appears to tell Mary that she is with child by the Holy Spirit. There are hundreds of these paintings, and I always look to see how they depict the spiritual semen, often as a gold stream shooting down from a bird to the uterus of the Virgin. In sex, we make contact with the divine through our partner. The more vision and care that goes into our sexuality, the more it serves as a conduit to the spirit.
　
Sensuality and spirituality work hand in hand for the benefit of each. You can be so focused on the physical that you have no vision, no ideas, and no values. Everything becomes about the self. But if you have a spiritual life, you are on your way out of narcissism. Nothing is more harmful to good sex than narcissism, which is a neurotic worry about your own value. The only way to deal with narcissism is to love yourself in a calm, unexaggerated way. Spiritual reflection can bring you to that point, and, in fact, spiritual literature is full of advice on how to get the self or ego out of the way. The very attitude that brings you to the pinnacle of spirit is great for your sexuality.
　
The reverse is also true. If you are a highly sexual and sensual person, your spirituality will be grounded. The greatest danger in the spiritual life is to lose contact with reality. You begin to believe in the most far-fetched things. You think of yourself as better than anyone else, as possessing the one and only truth. Ultimately, you may become too hard on yourself in an effort to be as acceptable and as pure as possible. These are extremes that a good sensual life can tame. (Some people become so negative about the body that they fall victim to anorexia and bulimia, and fascinating studies have been made on the connection between spiritual fasting and eating disorders. I have worked in therapy with people like this and have noticed that their dreams are sometimes full of sensual orgies, telling them, I imagine, where they need to go.) Inner Beauty: What Men Don't Tell You
　
Spirituality without sensuality tends to be aggressive, even turning mean and punitive. I often contemplate the wonderful painting by Botticelli of Mars and Venus. Most commentators see it as the goddess of love taming the god of war. That painting contains a dynamic that plays out in the hearts and souls of us all. No doubt that there is a close connection between sexual repression and extreme aggression. But even in our more ordinary lives,we might be less depressed and mean-spirited if our spirituality were softened by comfortable and visionary sex.
　
The more sexual you become, engaging your entire being, the more your sexuality will be a route to the spirit. And when you pursue your spiritual goals in meditation, prayer, and ritual, you should eventually discover the body anew. You will find, as the Sufi teachers often say, that your ultimate lover is God. This is a great mystery, and I don’t mean to be at all disrespectful. But I do think that, in the end, spirituality allows all your experiences—and your entire world—to reveal the intimacy with which the divine presses itself upon you.
　
THE TEN EROTIC COMMANDMENTS
　
ETHICS.
The first step in the spiritual life is to move beyond narcissism and self-absorption. This is not a glamorous suggestion, but it is essential: Treat your partner honestly, respectfully, and kindly. It's as simple as that. Spirituality begins in achieving a basic but difficult aspect of maturity—not being selfish. This doesn't mean that you don't take care of yourself and have full satisfaction in your sexual life, but, as the spiritual traditions consistently teach, you can't be happy if those around you are not happy.
　
PARTNERSHIP.
Sex is a union of persons, not only bodies. You can prepare for sex by being an interesting person, bringing with you your intelligence, culture, ideas, values, and talents. It's one thing to make love with a pretty body and another to be intimate with a real person. You can take time to talk to your partner, maybe at dinner before lovemaking. Don't be afraid to talk about the things that matter. Letting a closely guarded thought emerge can lead to a physical sense of release. If you can’t do this with your dinner partner, then your sex may not be anything special. Which Love Language Do You Speak?
　
VISION.
A spiritual person has a broad vision. He or she is interested in life, meaning, and the world. Vision is an aspect of transcendence and a reach beyond self. Sex usually begins and ends in conversation. Visionary talk, in contrast to mundane and self-centered chatter, can be vital and erotic.　
CONTEMPLATION.
Spirituality benefits from some kind of contemplation or meditation, a stepping outside the ordinary reality. Lovemaking can have a contemplative quality—taking time, allowing yourself to be dreamy, giving in not only to passion but also to the timeless atmosphere of sex. Ecstasy, a word often applied to sexual experience, means "to stand outside," and it doesn’t have to have the swoon factor that people sometimes associate with it. Ecstasy can be a steady, calm progress to a state that is tranquil and otherworldly.
　
RITUAL.
Sex is as much a ritual
　
GENEROSITY.
Sex can be virtuous without being repressive or too clean. The great virtue in sex is generosity, the capacity to offer an abundance of feeling, intelligence, and equality to your partner.
　
BEAUTY.
Sex has a lot to do with appreciating the beauty of the human body and the person. You don't have to be a stunner or even pretty or handsome. Fortunately, sexual passion allows us to see the beauty of the body in small elements and gestures. Loving the person also helps, because the beauty of the personality usually gets transferred to the body.　
PRAYER.
Prayer takes many forms. Even the monks have said that to work is to pray. You don't have to say formal prayers before sex, but you can bring to it such an appreciation for its power to express love and to make unions that it becomes a prayer.　
DEVOTION.
The ancient Greeks and Romans had a keen awareness of the spirituality in sex, which they personified in the goddesses Aphrodite and Venus. An old story is told of pilgrims going by boat to an island where they could venerate a statue of the naked and seductive Aphrodite. For sex to be deeply exciting and engaging, somehow you have to evoke this goddess, the spirit of sex, who makes things happen. As a muse is to an artist— a real and important source of inspiration—so this spirit is to a couple making love.
　
COMMUNITY.
Spirituality involves reaching beyond the self. Sex is quite private, but a good sex life can help make a good community. One of the results of good sex is joy, pure and simple, an antidote to the often depressive, cynical tone of modern life, with its tendency to dehumanize and make excessive demands. When people have a joyful, positive outlook, they are capable of community.　
Thomas Moore is the author of Care of the Soul, Soulmates, and other bestselling books.This doesn't mean surrendering completely or giving away too much, but rather a thoughtful and moderate offering of self. Again, this is a traditional spiritual virtue applied to the special realm of sex.as anything done in church or temple. A ritual is an action that speaks primarily to the heart and soul. It doesn't have much practical meaning. Some people like to justify sex by seeing it as a way to make babies or to express love. Obviously it can do these things, but it can also be a ritual that evokes the spirituality of the relationship, long or short, casual or serious. Therefore, the spiritual quality of sex may increase if you pay attention to its ritual aspect: timing, clothing, music, candles, setting, language.