A Good Man Is Hard to Find - Are Guys Refusing to Grow Up - BNET

http://www.bnet.com/blog/entry-level/a-good-man-is-hard-to-find-are-guys-refusing-to-grow-up/4403?tag=sec-river20

the “mancession” in the media and stories like my BNET colleague’s recent piece on the uptick in male plastic surgery, even the most casual observer can sense that something is up with men. But what is it? The diagnosis and the cure for what, if anything, ails the modern man is harder to agree on.Manning Up, which was recently excerpted in the WSJ. In the piece, Hymowitz lays out the well known evidence that young men these days are struggling, delaying traditional markers of adulthood, being out-earned by young women in some big cities and out-educated by them in college. All while they confront headlines like “The End of Men” in respected publications and pine after the Don Draper heyday of masculinity (OK, not all men are pining for the 60s, but nostalgia is in the air).Judd Apatow characters, trading wives and children for PlayStation games and Saturday night bromance. This choice to become “aging frat boys, maladroit geeks or grubby slackers,” isn’t down to sheer laziness, according to Hymowitz, but has its roots in larger cultural changes that demand a longer, harder trek to a quality career, and leave young man feeling lost. 20-something dudes who decorate their homes with Star Wars posters and video game consoles, she writes, are anthe vitriolic reaction to her book excerpt, some men aren’t blaming sociology for their troubles. They’re blaming women. Responding to rage-filled comments to her WSJ piece in the Daily Beast, Hymnowitz reports that many young guys are pointing the finger at female hypocrisy and casting their slacker image as a rebellion against unreasonable women:two years younger than that for men since the 60s), pointing to the fact that the underlying sociological causes Hymowitz cites as the cause of the man-crisis are actually affecting both genders.Sex and the City 2?
Between all the references to
Stirring the pot of debate recently is Kay Hymowitz’s book
So after laying out the symptoms, what’s Hymowitz’s verdict? Put simply, boys just don’t want to grow up. She describes a nation of
expression of our cultural uncertainty about the social role of men. It’s been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, but boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors and providers. Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles — fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity — are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.But based on the
Women may want equality at the conference table and treadmill. But when it comes to sex and dating, they aren’t so sure. The might hook up as freely as a Duke athlete. Or, they might want men to play Greatest Generation gentleman. Yes, they want men to pay for dinner, call for dates — a writer at the popular dating website The Frisky titled a recent piece “Call me and ask me out for a damn date!” — and open doors for them. A lot of men wonder: “WTF??!” Why should they do the asking? Why should they pay for dinner? After all, they are equals and in any case, the woman a guy is asking out probably has more cash in her pocket than he does....Gender roles have obviously been in flux for decades, but statistics show that women are delaying marriage and parenthood just the same as men (the age of first marriage for women has held steady at roughly
The differences between the pre-marriage lifestyles of men and women are mostly a matter of taste. Beer guzzling and Adam Sandler movies may gross out Hymowitz, but are they really objectively worse somehow than cosmopolitans and
Sure, the recession hit male dominated sectors worse than female dominated ones and yes, the issue of why men lag behind women in education is worth discussing, but Hymowitz comes across as more disturbed by young men’s failure to regularly launder their linens. Men and women are both delaying adulthood as the path to a well-paying, progeny-supporting career gets longer. A period of suspended animation in your 20s is now pretty standard for the career-oriented of both sexes. The fact that guys are biding their time doing activities Hymowitz doesn’t enjoy, does not a crisis make.
What do you think, is the “crisis” of delayed manhood overblown?
　
Comments:
...Why not try this to solve the issue:

1. Women start acting like "ladies" (i.e. A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior; A woman regarded as proper and virtuous. -- thefreedictionary.com). I haven't seen that in a LONG time!

2. Women start focusing on what YOU can do to ENCOURAGE men rather than poke fun at them and put them down. Yep!!! Men do it to women. But remember the phrase "Two wrongs don't make a right?" (I feel like I'm talking to my children.) Sure. You can do it back. It is your choice. But at least be prepared to accept some responsibilities for your OWN actions.

3. Look women, YOU have a lot of power over a man. I know you know this too, you are just doing it very foolishly (see No. 4). A good woman knows how to respect and build up a man. He needs that. That's how he is made. There's an expression, "Behind every good man is a good woman." So, give the guy a break. You left your role as a lady and now you want to beat up on the man. Why not first look in the mirror, hmmmm?

4. Speaking of looking in the mirror, women, notice anything missing, like CLOTHES? Women are running around with their cleavage showing, legs showing, pants so tight that they just look like a different skin color. And the sad part is YOU KNOW IT and do it to get what YOU want from a man (which is one reason why I don't call you a lady). Just remember this...when you get looks from men, or get raped, YOU, my dear, are part of the problem. Don't treat the guy like it's all his fault and you are some helpless victim.

Summary, so you see...those traditional values that this country has rejected has led to more messes than I can possible address in this blog. But it's like this. I heard this on a movie last weekend and I liked it: "You might have your head in the sand, but your butt is still showing."

By the way, I am not a man. I am a woman who practices being a "lady". I've been married to my husband for 31 years. Neither of us has ever been married before. Through trial and error, I learned to focus on improving myself rather than trying to "fix" my husband. Most of our arguments stopped (no, we are not perfect) and he became a better husband. Video games? Nope. TV? Nope. He's too busy doing things to help me--house cleaning, cooking, opening my car door, holding my hand and telling me how much I have made his life happy.
Rseaton
03/24/2011
　
Perhaps pushing it a little with the rape comment? ...Do you also think children running around half dressed is to blame for sexual abuse?
DreamInternship
03/25/2011
　
The divorce and domestic laws favor women and the child support laws destroy men. I advised my daughter to get married and my son to never get married. Only a fool of a young man would get married when the deck is stacked against him legally. Besides, there is an abundance of sex out there thanks to the looseness of today's women. I am in my early fifties and have no trouble sleeping with women half my age. Why would any man get married? For companionship? Give me a break; itâ??s just not worth the risks. 1amongmany03/24/2011