http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-signs-youre-not-cut-out-for-fatherhood.html
are you really up for handling the less glamorous elements of being a parent? We can't tell you for certain whether you’ll be a good father, but we can definitely predict if you’ll be a bad one.
Remember that summer you tried to learn the guitar? Or that half semester you spent in cooking school? Or how about that day you tried to become a sword swallower? Admit it: You always set out with the best of intentions before abandoning each project once the glamour wears off and the real work sets in. And, make no mistake about it, children are a lot of work. If you're not in it for the long haul, you shouldn't be in it at all.
With all due respect to blazing infernos and cattle stampedes, nothing puts your material possessions at greater risk than letting an infant have free reign over your house. Apple juice will be smeared on your artwork, slices of cheese will be loaded into your Blu-ray player and puddles of drool will cover every single surface in your home. If you can't handle that kind of kiddie-induced carnage, you may not be ready for fatherhood.
A womb raider is a male gold digger who deliberately impregnates a wealthier woman within weeks of meeting her. And while there’s nothing amiss with knocking up an heiress if you genuinely like children, there is something fundamentally wrong about doing it purely because you want to quit your day job. Children are a blessing, not a meal ticket.
If you're too busy to water your Chinese evergreen once a week, there's no way you're going to find the time to diaper, clothe, feed, entertain, and nurture a baby. Being a parent is easily the most demanding job in the world, and it requires a concentrated, full-time commitment.
Babies were designed to get messy. They poop, barf and fling their feces around like Charlie Sheen after a half-dozen cocktails. If you can't stand the thought of your home looking like it's been ravaged by a hurricane, then you're probably not ready for children.
Perhaps the only thing worse than being a neat freak is being an unrepentant slob. If you can't clean up after yourself, then there's no way you're going to be able to keep up with the mountains of toxic diapers, stained washcloths and pee-soaked onesies your baby will generate on an hourly basis.
One of the most difficult things about having a child is coming to terms with the fact that you no longer matter. Oh, sure, you’re still essential to your baby’s care and well-being, but friends and family members will suddenly start ignoring you to give their undivided attention to your little bundle of joy. Playing second fiddle to an incomprehensible rug rat may be fine for some men, but it can be a huge blow to the ego for guys accustomed to having the spotlight all to themselves.
Anyone who insists that children are priceless clearly hasn’t read the latest data. According to the Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion, the typical two-parent family will spend $222,360 on a child by the time he reaches 17. And that’s assuming you have a son. If you have a daughter, you’ll also want to shell out an additional $10,000 on a chastity belt and a shotgun to scare away her potential suitors. If that sounds like more money than you’d care to spend, you may have to wait until your finances are in order before having children.
When it comes to dealing with children, patience is more than just a virtue -- it's an absolute necessity. Most children don’t begin to talk until they’re 14 to 20 months old, and their frequent inability to be understood often results in epic meltdowns. Make no mistake about it, you will have Lego blocks flung at your head, strained carrots dumped into your lap and any number of ballistic devices aimed at your groin. It’s absolutely critical that you maintain patience and composure during these trying times, as your baby tries to communicate his most pressing needs and desires. If you can't handle that -- and many men can’t -- you may not be ready for fatherhood.
We know that your life may not have turned out exactly the way you wanted, but having a child won’t magically erase all of your past mistakes, and you can’t live vicariously through your kid. Anyone who enters fatherhood with those kinds of ulterior motives is setting themselves -- and their offspring -- up for a lifetime of bitter failure.
If you're still not sure about fatherhood, check out our Top 10: Things Nobody Warns You About Before Becoming A Father and our Top 10: Lessons In Manhood From Ronald Reagan.
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-ways-a-dog-prepares-you-for-fatherhood_10.html
By Ryan Stevens,
For more tips on fatherhood, check out: Top 10: Father-Son Activities and Top 10: Behaviors Fatherhood Doesn't Excuse.
are you really up for handling the less glamorous elements of being a parent? We can't tell you for certain whether you’ll be a good father, but we can definitely predict if you’ll be a bad one.
Page 2: You always abandon projects
Remember that summer you tried to learn the guitar? Or that half semester you spent in cooking school? Or how about that day you tried to become a sword swallower? Admit it: You always set out with the best of intentions before abandoning each project once the glamour wears off and the real work sets in. And, make no mistake about it, children are a lot of work. If you're not in it for the long haul, you shouldn't be in it at all.
Page 3: You're too materialistic
With all due respect to blazing infernos and cattle stampedes, nothing puts your material possessions at greater risk than letting an infant have free reign over your house. Apple juice will be smeared on your artwork, slices of cheese will be loaded into your Blu-ray player and puddles of drool will cover every single surface in your home. If you can't handle that kind of kiddie-induced carnage, you may not be ready for fatherhood.
Page 4: You're a Womb Raider
A womb raider is a male gold digger who deliberately impregnates a wealthier woman within weeks of meeting her. And while there’s nothing amiss with knocking up an heiress if you genuinely like children, there is something fundamentally wrong about doing it purely because you want to quit your day job. Children are a blessing, not a meal ticket.
Page 5: All of your plants are dead
If you're too busy to water your Chinese evergreen once a week, there's no way you're going to find the time to diaper, clothe, feed, entertain, and nurture a baby. Being a parent is easily the most demanding job in the world, and it requires a concentrated, full-time commitment.
Page 6: You're a neat freak
Babies were designed to get messy. They poop, barf and fling their feces around like Charlie Sheen after a half-dozen cocktails. If you can't stand the thought of your home looking like it's been ravaged by a hurricane, then you're probably not ready for children.
Page 7: You're a slob
Perhaps the only thing worse than being a neat freak is being an unrepentant slob. If you can't clean up after yourself, then there's no way you're going to be able to keep up with the mountains of toxic diapers, stained washcloths and pee-soaked onesies your baby will generate on an hourly basis.
Page 8: You need to be the center of attention
One of the most difficult things about having a child is coming to terms with the fact that you no longer matter. Oh, sure, you’re still essential to your baby’s care and well-being, but friends and family members will suddenly start ignoring you to give their undivided attention to your little bundle of joy. Playing second fiddle to an incomprehensible rug rat may be fine for some men, but it can be a huge blow to the ego for guys accustomed to having the spotlight all to themselves.
Page 9: You're in debt up to your eyeballs
Anyone who insists that children are priceless clearly hasn’t read the latest data. According to the Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion, the typical two-parent family will spend $222,360 on a child by the time he reaches 17. And that’s assuming you have a son. If you have a daughter, you’ll also want to shell out an additional $10,000 on a chastity belt and a shotgun to scare away her potential suitors. If that sounds like more money than you’d care to spend, you may have to wait until your finances are in order before having children.
Page 10: You have zero patience
When it comes to dealing with children, patience is more than just a virtue -- it's an absolute necessity. Most children don’t begin to talk until they’re 14 to 20 months old, and their frequent inability to be understood often results in epic meltdowns. Make no mistake about it, you will have Lego blocks flung at your head, strained carrots dumped into your lap and any number of ballistic devices aimed at your groin. It’s absolutely critical that you maintain patience and composure during these trying times, as your baby tries to communicate his most pressing needs and desires. If you can't handle that -- and many men can’t -- you may not be ready for fatherhood.
Page 11: You want a surrogate you
We know that your life may not have turned out exactly the way you wanted, but having a child won’t magically erase all of your past mistakes, and you can’t live vicariously through your kid. Anyone who enters fatherhood with those kinds of ulterior motives is setting themselves -- and their offspring -- up for a lifetime of bitter failure.
If you're still not sure about fatherhood, check out our Top 10: Things Nobody Warns You About Before Becoming A Father and our Top 10: Lessons In Manhood From Ronald Reagan.
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-ways-a-dog-prepares-you-for-fatherhood_10.html
Top 10: Ways A Dog Prepares You For Fatherhood
Can puppies teach you more about fatherhood than parenting books?By Ryan Stevens,
Page 1:
Potty training, destroyed furniture and, if you're as unlucky as I am, cute little outfits rule your life. It might not seem like a comparable relationship, but many of the same things your dog depends on you for are the same needs your child will require from you. As the puppy prepares you for the child, know that these tiny annoyances, patience-testers and trying times only serve to strengthen your ability as a father to a child, furry or not.Page 2: Dealing with new expenses
Adding another mouth to feed is not only another responsibility, but it also teaches men to plan ahead for next month’s bills. A puppy eats constantly, and if you’re not careful, it will eat more than just the food you give it. The most obvious way to keep it from destroying your furniture is to provide toys it can destroy. Much like with a baby, toys litter the floor and often generate more stubbed toes than hours of fun. A puppy also needs shots, medical exams, training, and a whole slew of miscellaneous items that skip your mind when you first bring little Fido home. Dealing with the financial burden a dog brings prepares your wallet for the hit of baby expenses.Page 3: Dealing with other parents
As with so many other things in life, common interests bring groups of people together. Having a puppy will attract those with furry little ones of their own to you. They will come with stories, advice and a better way for you to do things. When you have a child, these people become overwhelming when they are giving you three dozen parenting books to read. Learn to take each suggestion with a grain of salt while you have a puppy as it will help you weather the storm of unsolicited advice that comes with the onesies and toddler groups.Page 4: Spending time and attention
Sleep becomes a prized commodity once the puppy or child takes up residence in your home. Once the lights go out, just about the time you find that nice cool spot on the pillow, the cries, whining and sobs start. There are few moments in life where you realize during the waves of frustration that there is no use fighting. This is one of those moments. Sometimes being a Better Man can be interpreted as “Late-Night Dog Walker” or “Human Rocking Chair.”Page 5: Puppy/baby proofing your house
Puppies train you to pay attention to your surroundings. Just as with a toddler, you must keep a wide array of objects out of their reach and stay vigilant as they play with new toys. As men, we know any object can be turned into either a weapon or a troublemaking device. When they finally reach the potty-trained, nap-taking and calmer disposition of a dog there is a sense of accomplishment that comes with all your hard work. Enjoy it now; while puppies become dogs, babies become teenagers.Page 6: Finding couple time
When the needs of a puppy or a child come into play, creativity becomes key in keeping that spark of romance burning as bright as it did in the beginning. Having a reliable sitter who you can trust with your little one while you go on your date night will add stability and help strengthen the bond between you and your partner. While the puppy may not be nearly as demanding as a child, they still have a knack for interrupting those spontaneous intimate moments. Before you begin your movie night, tucker the little guy out with some play time, and keep the baby monitor close to keep an ear out while you cuddle up.Page 7: Setting routines
With a puppy and a child completely dependent on you for everything from cleaning to feeding, setting a specific schedule for them to follow can set the foundation for a structured day. Taking the puppy for a walk in the morning before work, and then another one before bed, allows them to gradually learn that this is the time to do their business and get some exercise. This remedial type of structure will form the ground rules that ease a child into a school day, and eventually a work day.Page 8: Constantly cleaning up
Men are quite often the ones cleaning up the dog’s foul-smelling presents. This not only gives you practice, but will also desensitize you to many of the horrid sights and smells you will experience with a baby. From projectile spit-up to poorly-adhered diaper straps to ruined suits, since both the puppy and the child will live in your house, their mess becomes your mess. Clean smart, not hard. You’ll know more about stain removers than you ever thought possible.Page 9: Testing the limits of your patience
Children and dogs may be small, but they are both cunning and conniving. Being dependent on others for care forces them to expand their resources and tap into different parts of the brain that we have long since shut down. They both possess the potent quality of being able to play reasonable adults against each other. When they want a treat, to get up on the couch, to watch a show, or even to sleep in your bed, they understand that while one has said “No” they still have a chance of batting at least .5. Through the use of “Big Eyes,” pleading whines and undeniable cuteness, they prey on the parent who hasn’t told them “No” yet.Page 10: Planning ahead
Being responsible for a dependent forces you to plan for the unexpected. Vaccinations, flea medicines and obedience classes are just a drop in the bucket compared to health insurance, preschool and college tuition, but they lay the foundation for financial responsibility. While the puppy’s needs pale in comparison to that of a child, we can still take their demands as a precursor to the obligations of fatherhood. Planning ahead for the unexpected will help ease the burden.Page 11: Teaching you to be a teacher
There are certain expectations that go along with being a father: You’ll need to teach them how to throw a football, stand up for themselves and where to cast for the biggest fish. These skills are honed with the introduction of a puppy through fetch, sit and other activities. The puppy will have no idea how to understand what you are saying if you don’t take the time to show him. By taking the time to teach him new skills, even as simple as “sit,” you are learning how to be a disciplinarian and an educator. What better way to prepare you for the arrival and development of a child?For more tips on fatherhood, check out: Top 10: Father-Son Activities and Top 10: Behaviors Fatherhood Doesn't Excuse.
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