True Love - Do you truthfully love each other? You need to be firm that both of you love each other. Regrettably, it's easy to confuse fascination and lust with love. Infatuation is more about being in love with the way someone makes you feel. True love happens gradually; it's about being dedicated and concerned for your partner's happiness. ==
Wikipedia:
Gray's current book is Venus on Fire | Mars on Ice, an exploration of relationships and the role of food and nutrition to sustaining a healthy romantic partnership.
...
Critics have accused him of over-simplifying human psychology into stereotypes that fail to adequately describe many people.[13][14][15][16] Communication scholars have published research-based rebuttals to Gray's claims.[17] Other scholars, such as Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics, have also written research-based books that challenge some of Gray's claims.[18]
--
bring some spark back to your marriage.
1. Give your wife 4 hugs a day.
2. Take her out for "date night" and plan the evening yourself.
3. Ask her for a "honey do" list. Don't be surprised if you receive a long list.
4. Bring her flowers as a surprise, not for an occasion.
5. The next time your child has a school event, volunteer to be the parent who attends.
6. Ask her specific questions about her day.
7. Go for a walk together after dinner.
8. Arrange for a baby sitter for your next evening out.
9. Send her an e-card...they're free!
10. Surprise her with dinner.
11. Tell her you love her.
12. Hire a maid to clean the house so you can both spend the weekend without worrying about housework.
13. Run her a bath after a long day.
14. Offer to do the grocery shopping.
15. Stay in bed a little longer just to be close and talk, without initiating sex.
16. Give her a back rub.
17. Stop and ask for directions the next time you're lost…and late.
18. Call her at work to say hello.
19. Write her a love note.
20. Fix something around the house.
21. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.
22. Take her side when she is upset with someone.
23. Take her car and get the oil changed and the tires rotated.
24. Remember her birthday and your anniversary.
25. Play her favorite CD when she gets home from work and dance around the kitchen like you did when you first met.
http://www.askmarsvenus.com/Article.php?id=36&aff=AMV
--
men prefer a picture to a thousand words. In this light, assess your sleepwear. Is it always clean and attractive? Nightclothes reveal a lot about a relationship. Learn the language of lingerie. (White means "I want tenderness;" black, "I'm hot;" red, "I want to please you;" flannel with flowers, "Let's cuddle.")
All:
25 Ways a Woman Can Superglue Her Marriage
By John Gray, Ph.D.
Relationship Advice from MarsVenus.com
What exactly is the anatomy for keeping romance alive? Check your attitude. Accept and appreciate the many differences between men and women. Be very clear about what you need. Here are Gray's 25 ways to keep your love glowing and growing:
1. When he compliments you, don't be demure and don't disagree. Smile and tell him you appreciate it.
2. Tuck a picture of him in your wallet. Show him. Update it once a year. Show him again.
3. Don't ask him if you are gaining weight. And avoid self-degrading comments like, "I'm getting fat." Feeling confident about yourself makes you sexy.
4. Shower him with thank-you's -- often -- even if he does something around the house week in and week out as a regular chore. Sure, you're both responsible grown-ups. And it's just as sure that this kind of flattery will get you everywhere.
5. If he's on a low-fat or low-cholesterol diet, seek out recipes his doctor would approve of. This says you care enough to make the extra effort. Then, after your culinary cartwheels, if he gobbles up a whole bag of chips or cookies, don't mention it. He knows he acted like a child. He doesn't need you to be his mother.
6. If he's driving, don't give unsolicited advice in the car.
7. When he drops crumbs on the counter or socks on the floor, pause before commenting. First, consider, "Am I about to launch a negative remark?" Men cannot connect with their wives when they're being corrected. Second, prioritize what's really important enough for you to make a fuss over.
8. Is a spotless kitchen absolutely essential to you? Then say, "Honey, please clean off the counter," not, "You're always leaving crumbs." Shelve blame.
9. Can you cook? Then do. Men take it as a sign of love. It's primal. It's potent.
10. Squash these questions: "How come we don't spend more time together?" and "Why can't you be more romantic?" They're not useful.
11. Streamline your requests by using as few words as possible. Don't explain why you want what you want. Practice phrases like: "Please take me out for dinner this Friday night at Le Eatery. I'd love it!" and "It would make me so happy to get a big bouquet of tulips tomorrow from the florist near your office." Men like it when you get straight to the point.
12. When he makes a mistake, bite your tongue. Saying "You shouldn't have" or "I told you so" is the quickest way to cool communication.
13. Give him breathing room. Sometimes men must crawl into their caves. Encourage his male friendships and time away for doing guy stuff. If you like sports and bloody thrillers, watch them with him. If you don't, go ahead and do something else that you can enjoy.
14. Clip newspaper and magazine articles you think will be of interest to him.
15. Don't expect him to be a great dancer. Appreciate whatever moves he has.
16. When he talks about his job or other subjects on which he is an expert, don't give a lot of advice. Just listen.
17. Be aware that men prefer a picture to a thousand words. In this light, assess your sleepwear. Is it always clean and attractive? Nightclothes reveal a lot about a relationship. Learn the language of lingerie. (White means "I want tenderness;" black, "I'm hot;" red, "I want to please you;" flannel with flowers, "Let's cuddle.")
18. Kiss him good-bye in the morning and hello in the evening, on the lips, every day.
19. Set the lovemaking scene affectionately and assertively: a glowing candle, a bottle of massage oil, a bubble bath. These obvious nonverbal clues speak volumes.
20. Believe this truth: The majority of men correlate sexual frequency with marital satisfaction. Doesn't matter how long the act lasts. He wants it. So, when you're too tired to get all wired, develop an open attitude about quickies.
21. But it's a two-way street. Think of your love life as a negotiation -- sometimes you give a little, sometimes you get a lot. Once a month, plan an evening devoted to the kind of slow lovemaking that pleases you. Trade baby-sitting with another couple, if necessary. Then your husband can give you the passion and attention you desire. Every few months, book a room at an inn or motel. (Think you can't afford to? You can't afford not to.) Making love in a different place is stimulating. Women who say they're too tired to make love are usually just bored with the same old routine.
22. Consider your perfume. Does he like it?
23. If he picks a restaurant or movie that you end up hating, resist criticizing his choice. A man may interpret your displeasure as a personal attack (even if he was just as disappointed as you were).
24. Reconnect through rituals. Weave a tapestry of romantic threads in your lives -- a short evening walk, a weekly date, a daily phone call or his favorite dinner on Fridays. Set aside time to make connections.
25. Take care of yourself. When you're upbeat, he'll feel closer to you.
==http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2006/jun/09mar.htm
Sorry dear, am not up to it!
While dating, your partner may readily accompany you to movies or parties s/ he never enjoyed. After all, the issue then was just to hang out together. Post marriage, don't expect the same. Your partner may not feel as inclined to participate in activities s/ he does not enjoy.
Don't let this dishearten you. Understand that there are other ways your partner may express their caring for you.
According to Bangalore based counsellor Wing Commander Dinesh Kumar, who has been counselling couples for nearly 14 years, "Giving each other personal space is very important."
You need not to do all activities together, especially if one of you does not enjoy them. Sometimes, the husband may just want to hang out with his buddies without the wife. Or, the wife could go out with her friends while he stayed home and read a book or cooked.
Disagreements are a normal part of any healthy marriage. Two different individuals coming together is bound to cause friction. Iron these out by keeping the channels of communication open.
All:
Getting married? 4 important rules
Last updated on: June 09, 2006 15:54 IST
Share
this
Ask
Users
Write a
Comment
In Getting married? Ask these questions, we penned down five questions you need to tackle before saying 'yes'.
This time around, we give you practical tips on how to make your marriage work.
It helps to understand your own needs and expectations as well as those of your partner, so that you are on the same page once married.
It also is great to discuss practical issues like lifestyle habits, how many children you would like to have, religion (if it is an issue), in-laws, finances, careers, responsibilities and anything and everything that will become a part and parcel of your lifestyle, post marriage. Adjustments will be a whole lot easier.
However, despite all the planning, you can still expect some surprises. Here's a peek into what to expect.
Sorry dear, am not up to it!
While dating, your partner may readily accompany you to movies or parties s/ he never enjoyed. After all, the issue then was just to hang out together. Post marriage, don't expect the same. Your partner may not feel as inclined to participate in activities s/ he does not enjoy.
Don't let this dishearten you. Understand that there are other ways your partner may express their caring for you.
According to Bangalore based counsellor Wing Commander Dinesh Kumar, who has been counselling couples for nearly 14 years, "Giving each other personal space is very important."
You need not to do all activities together, especially if one of you does not enjoy them. Sometimes, the husband may just want to hang out with his buddies without the wife. Or, the wife could go out with her friends while he stayed home and read a book or cooked.
Disagreements are a normal part of any healthy marriage. Two different individuals coming together is bound to cause friction. Iron these out by keeping the channels of communication open.
*
Are you ready for motherhood?
Why do you hate my parents?
After marriage, your in-laws are a part of your extended family, whether you like it or not. Treat them with respect and regard. By making that extra effort to gel with your in-laws, you will win your partner's confidence.
However, if you feel your in-laws are crowding into your space on major issues to the extent that it bothers you, it would be best to tactfully discuss it with your spouse.
For example, if there is too much interference in how you should bring up your children or how your house should run, communicate this with your spouse. Don't take it up directly with your in-laws.
Mumbai [ Images ] based homemaker Deepti Pareek, 28, advises young people getting married not to fret too much. "There is bound to be some amount of tension with your in-laws initially. The best way is to communicate."
*
She earns more than him!
Will you stop blowing up cash?
A crucial but often ignored aspect: discuss your finances before marriage.
Disclose any financial commitments you have made and find out whether your partner is ready to share the burden. This does not just refer to home loans and personal loans but even loans you might have taken from a friend or relative.
Money has been the root cause for many broken marriages; it is important to have mutual trust in financial matters.
If both of you are working, disclose your incomes and plan how you can financially secure your future together.
Bangalore based marriage counsellor, Dr Veena Satish, who has been practising for more than a decade, advises married couples to "have a joint bank account to manage the household expenses in proportion to your earnings. Have a separate personal account for savings. This way, all the money is not at the risk of being spent or lost in wrong investments."
Veena K, 27, an IT professional working in a MNC, does not feel having separate or joint accounts is a big deal. "It doesn't matter whether you have separate accounts or joint accounts as long as you share the financial burden and are open about your spending," says this young woman who has been married for nearly four years.
*
Married? 7 money tips you must know
Don't take me for granted!
Think of your spouse as a friend. A confidant. Do NOT take them for granted.
Thank her/ him when they do something for you. Surprise them on and off with gifts or just cooking up a great meal.
Make your spouse feel special and loved.
Last but not the least, there is no single recipe for marital success. Novelist John Berger once said, "All weddings are similar, but all marriages are different." Every couple must find their own formula. Go on and make your own!
Part I: Getting married? Ask these questions
What are the ingredients for a successful marriage? What advice would you give to newly weds? Share your thoughts with us.
DON'T MISS!
How to spice up your relationship
When love strangles
New age courtship mantras
Quiz: Test your love!
Want to meet your match? Scout here
==
Wikipedia:
Gray's current book is Venus on Fire | Mars on Ice, an exploration of relationships and the role of food and nutrition to sustaining a healthy romantic partnership.
...
Critics have accused him of over-simplifying human psychology into stereotypes that fail to adequately describe many people.[13][14][15][16] Communication scholars have published research-based rebuttals to Gray's claims.[17] Other scholars, such as Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics, have also written research-based books that challenge some of Gray's claims.[18]
--
bring some spark back to your marriage.
1. Give your wife 4 hugs a day.
2. Take her out for "date night" and plan the evening yourself.
3. Ask her for a "honey do" list. Don't be surprised if you receive a long list.
4. Bring her flowers as a surprise, not for an occasion.
5. The next time your child has a school event, volunteer to be the parent who attends.
6. Ask her specific questions about her day.
7. Go for a walk together after dinner.
8. Arrange for a baby sitter for your next evening out.
9. Send her an e-card...they're free!
10. Surprise her with dinner.
11. Tell her you love her.
12. Hire a maid to clean the house so you can both spend the weekend without worrying about housework.
13. Run her a bath after a long day.
14. Offer to do the grocery shopping.
15. Stay in bed a little longer just to be close and talk, without initiating sex.
16. Give her a back rub.
17. Stop and ask for directions the next time you're lost…and late.
18. Call her at work to say hello.
19. Write her a love note.
20. Fix something around the house.
21. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her.
22. Take her side when she is upset with someone.
23. Take her car and get the oil changed and the tires rotated.
24. Remember her birthday and your anniversary.
25. Play her favorite CD when she gets home from work and dance around the kitchen like you did when you first met.
http://www.askmarsvenus.com/Article.php?id=36&aff=AMV
--
men prefer a picture to a thousand words. In this light, assess your sleepwear. Is it always clean and attractive? Nightclothes reveal a lot about a relationship. Learn the language of lingerie. (White means "I want tenderness;" black, "I'm hot;" red, "I want to please you;" flannel with flowers, "Let's cuddle.")
All:
25 Ways a Woman Can Superglue Her Marriage
By John Gray, Ph.D.
Relationship Advice from MarsVenus.com
What exactly is the anatomy for keeping romance alive? Check your attitude. Accept and appreciate the many differences between men and women. Be very clear about what you need. Here are Gray's 25 ways to keep your love glowing and growing:
1. When he compliments you, don't be demure and don't disagree. Smile and tell him you appreciate it.
2. Tuck a picture of him in your wallet. Show him. Update it once a year. Show him again.
3. Don't ask him if you are gaining weight. And avoid self-degrading comments like, "I'm getting fat." Feeling confident about yourself makes you sexy.
4. Shower him with thank-you's -- often -- even if he does something around the house week in and week out as a regular chore. Sure, you're both responsible grown-ups. And it's just as sure that this kind of flattery will get you everywhere.
5. If he's on a low-fat or low-cholesterol diet, seek out recipes his doctor would approve of. This says you care enough to make the extra effort. Then, after your culinary cartwheels, if he gobbles up a whole bag of chips or cookies, don't mention it. He knows he acted like a child. He doesn't need you to be his mother.
6. If he's driving, don't give unsolicited advice in the car.
7. When he drops crumbs on the counter or socks on the floor, pause before commenting. First, consider, "Am I about to launch a negative remark?" Men cannot connect with their wives when they're being corrected. Second, prioritize what's really important enough for you to make a fuss over.
8. Is a spotless kitchen absolutely essential to you? Then say, "Honey, please clean off the counter," not, "You're always leaving crumbs." Shelve blame.
9. Can you cook? Then do. Men take it as a sign of love. It's primal. It's potent.
10. Squash these questions: "How come we don't spend more time together?" and "Why can't you be more romantic?" They're not useful.
11. Streamline your requests by using as few words as possible. Don't explain why you want what you want. Practice phrases like: "Please take me out for dinner this Friday night at Le Eatery. I'd love it!" and "It would make me so happy to get a big bouquet of tulips tomorrow from the florist near your office." Men like it when you get straight to the point.
12. When he makes a mistake, bite your tongue. Saying "You shouldn't have" or "I told you so" is the quickest way to cool communication.
13. Give him breathing room. Sometimes men must crawl into their caves. Encourage his male friendships and time away for doing guy stuff. If you like sports and bloody thrillers, watch them with him. If you don't, go ahead and do something else that you can enjoy.
14. Clip newspaper and magazine articles you think will be of interest to him.
15. Don't expect him to be a great dancer. Appreciate whatever moves he has.
16. When he talks about his job or other subjects on which he is an expert, don't give a lot of advice. Just listen.
17. Be aware that men prefer a picture to a thousand words. In this light, assess your sleepwear. Is it always clean and attractive? Nightclothes reveal a lot about a relationship. Learn the language of lingerie. (White means "I want tenderness;" black, "I'm hot;" red, "I want to please you;" flannel with flowers, "Let's cuddle.")
18. Kiss him good-bye in the morning and hello in the evening, on the lips, every day.
19. Set the lovemaking scene affectionately and assertively: a glowing candle, a bottle of massage oil, a bubble bath. These obvious nonverbal clues speak volumes.
20. Believe this truth: The majority of men correlate sexual frequency with marital satisfaction. Doesn't matter how long the act lasts. He wants it. So, when you're too tired to get all wired, develop an open attitude about quickies.
21. But it's a two-way street. Think of your love life as a negotiation -- sometimes you give a little, sometimes you get a lot. Once a month, plan an evening devoted to the kind of slow lovemaking that pleases you. Trade baby-sitting with another couple, if necessary. Then your husband can give you the passion and attention you desire. Every few months, book a room at an inn or motel. (Think you can't afford to? You can't afford not to.) Making love in a different place is stimulating. Women who say they're too tired to make love are usually just bored with the same old routine.
22. Consider your perfume. Does he like it?
23. If he picks a restaurant or movie that you end up hating, resist criticizing his choice. A man may interpret your displeasure as a personal attack (even if he was just as disappointed as you were).
24. Reconnect through rituals. Weave a tapestry of romantic threads in your lives -- a short evening walk, a weekly date, a daily phone call or his favorite dinner on Fridays. Set aside time to make connections.
25. Take care of yourself. When you're upbeat, he'll feel closer to you.
==http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2006/jun/09mar.htm
Sorry dear, am not up to it!
While dating, your partner may readily accompany you to movies or parties s/ he never enjoyed. After all, the issue then was just to hang out together. Post marriage, don't expect the same. Your partner may not feel as inclined to participate in activities s/ he does not enjoy.
Don't let this dishearten you. Understand that there are other ways your partner may express their caring for you.
According to Bangalore based counsellor Wing Commander Dinesh Kumar, who has been counselling couples for nearly 14 years, "Giving each other personal space is very important."
You need not to do all activities together, especially if one of you does not enjoy them. Sometimes, the husband may just want to hang out with his buddies without the wife. Or, the wife could go out with her friends while he stayed home and read a book or cooked.
Disagreements are a normal part of any healthy marriage. Two different individuals coming together is bound to cause friction. Iron these out by keeping the channels of communication open.
All:
Getting married? 4 important rules
Last updated on: June 09, 2006 15:54 IST
Share
this
Ask
Users
Write a
Comment
In Getting married? Ask these questions, we penned down five questions you need to tackle before saying 'yes'.
This time around, we give you practical tips on how to make your marriage work.
It helps to understand your own needs and expectations as well as those of your partner, so that you are on the same page once married.
It also is great to discuss practical issues like lifestyle habits, how many children you would like to have, religion (if it is an issue), in-laws, finances, careers, responsibilities and anything and everything that will become a part and parcel of your lifestyle, post marriage. Adjustments will be a whole lot easier.
However, despite all the planning, you can still expect some surprises. Here's a peek into what to expect.
Sorry dear, am not up to it!
While dating, your partner may readily accompany you to movies or parties s/ he never enjoyed. After all, the issue then was just to hang out together. Post marriage, don't expect the same. Your partner may not feel as inclined to participate in activities s/ he does not enjoy.
Don't let this dishearten you. Understand that there are other ways your partner may express their caring for you.
According to Bangalore based counsellor Wing Commander Dinesh Kumar, who has been counselling couples for nearly 14 years, "Giving each other personal space is very important."
You need not to do all activities together, especially if one of you does not enjoy them. Sometimes, the husband may just want to hang out with his buddies without the wife. Or, the wife could go out with her friends while he stayed home and read a book or cooked.
Disagreements are a normal part of any healthy marriage. Two different individuals coming together is bound to cause friction. Iron these out by keeping the channels of communication open.
*
Are you ready for motherhood?
Why do you hate my parents?
After marriage, your in-laws are a part of your extended family, whether you like it or not. Treat them with respect and regard. By making that extra effort to gel with your in-laws, you will win your partner's confidence.
However, if you feel your in-laws are crowding into your space on major issues to the extent that it bothers you, it would be best to tactfully discuss it with your spouse.
For example, if there is too much interference in how you should bring up your children or how your house should run, communicate this with your spouse. Don't take it up directly with your in-laws.
Mumbai [ Images ] based homemaker Deepti Pareek, 28, advises young people getting married not to fret too much. "There is bound to be some amount of tension with your in-laws initially. The best way is to communicate."
*
She earns more than him!
Will you stop blowing up cash?
A crucial but often ignored aspect: discuss your finances before marriage.
Disclose any financial commitments you have made and find out whether your partner is ready to share the burden. This does not just refer to home loans and personal loans but even loans you might have taken from a friend or relative.
Money has been the root cause for many broken marriages; it is important to have mutual trust in financial matters.
If both of you are working, disclose your incomes and plan how you can financially secure your future together.
Bangalore based marriage counsellor, Dr Veena Satish, who has been practising for more than a decade, advises married couples to "have a joint bank account to manage the household expenses in proportion to your earnings. Have a separate personal account for savings. This way, all the money is not at the risk of being spent or lost in wrong investments."
Veena K, 27, an IT professional working in a MNC, does not feel having separate or joint accounts is a big deal. "It doesn't matter whether you have separate accounts or joint accounts as long as you share the financial burden and are open about your spending," says this young woman who has been married for nearly four years.
*
Married? 7 money tips you must know
Don't take me for granted!
Think of your spouse as a friend. A confidant. Do NOT take them for granted.
Thank her/ him when they do something for you. Surprise them on and off with gifts or just cooking up a great meal.
Make your spouse feel special and loved.
Last but not the least, there is no single recipe for marital success. Novelist John Berger once said, "All weddings are similar, but all marriages are different." Every couple must find their own formula. Go on and make your own!
Part I: Getting married? Ask these questions
What are the ingredients for a successful marriage? What advice would you give to newly weds? Share your thoughts with us.
DON'T MISS!
How to spice up your relationship
When love strangles
New age courtship mantras
Quiz: Test your love!
Want to meet your match? Scout here
==
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